Page 72 of The Notecard
‘Oh, he might sound posh, and be funny, but when it comes to the bedroom, Hugh’s an animal. Honestly. I was quite shocked the first time. He doesn’t hold back, and he’ll do anything. He’s very giving too. Sometimes he just goes down there and does the business for me for like half-an-hour. I just lie back and think about Ant and Dec.’
‘Ant and Dec?’ I say incredulously.
‘You would though, wouldn’t you? Ant and Dec. At the same time.’
I laugh. I take a sip of wine. It helps.
‘Maybe. I don’t know.’
‘I’m sorry about Nick. I thought he might be The One.’
‘I guess I just thought it was going to be different. We have such chemistry, and I just…’ I pause and take another sip of wine. ‘I know I’m going away for six months, and he’s moving to Nottingham, but I really thought that maybe we had something. I felt it, Keri. I felt the thing.’
‘The magic.’
‘Yes, the magic. But maybe I was wrong. I just can’t trust myself after James. I thought he was it and look what happened there.’
‘You walked in on him fucking Clara.’
‘Exactly. I guess I was wrong about Nick too.’
I take a sip of wine, and Keri has a mug of something, probably tea. She takes a sip and then looks at me.
‘There was Jack, though. Remember Jack?’ says Keri.
‘Pret A Manger Jack?’
‘Yeah, and I know it didn’t work out. He wasn’t my avocado, but our first night together was a disaster. Remember, I told you about it. He had trouble maintaining an erection, I tried the lube, ending up smacking myself in the head and almost passing out, and he fell over, naked, and almost castrated himself on my washing basket. It was the worst sexual experience of my life. Zero orgasms and a headache in the morning.’
‘But I thought you guys had a great sex life. I literally heard you have a great sex life.’
‘Exactly. We did after that night. First night nerves. Maybe it was the same for you and Nick. There’s a lot of pressure the first time.’
‘Maybe. I don’t know. I’m going away in a month. Perhaps it’s time to just move on, forget all about Nick, and start thinking about the future.’
‘Maybe,’ says Keri. Another pause. Another sip of wine. ‘Or maybe not.’
Maybe not. I don’t know. Luckily I have an entire bottle of wine left to think about it, my pizza, a packet of cigarettes, and Grey’s Anatomy. Everything else can just fucking wait.
Nick
THEN
‘Mr Clark,’ says Dr Wells.
‘Call me Nick, please.’
I’m back with Dr Wells. It’s our first session since I walked out on her.
‘Nick. We need to talk about what happened the last time you were here.’
Today she has a food stain on her skirt. For a therapist, she seems awfully messy. The dead plant is still very much dead, and there’s a funny smell in her office. She’s drinking from a mug I assume is tea or coffee. It could be straight vodka for all I know. Her black hair is a little lank, and it looks like she hasn’t slept properly in months. Her eyes are ringed by darkness. And yet I’m trusting her to look after my mental health. Mum’s friend swears by her.
‘I think I was probably just overwhelmed, but I’m fine now.’
She looks at me. I don’t like how she looks at me. Judging. Analysing. Squinty eyes.
‘When I started talking about your family, you got upset, Nick. Is that something you want to discuss today?’
