Page 79 of The Notecard
‘But what can I do? I’m driving up to Nottingham soon. She’s at the wedding, and then she’s leaving for Thailand in two days. It just doesn’t work, Dotty. The timing isn’t right. It doesn’t matter how I feel about her because our lives are going in two different directions.’
I look across at her sideboard and there’s four china pigs, a Paddington Bear stuffed toy, and an old photo of two people getting married. It must be Dotty and Derek. She looks so young and happy. They’re outside a church and it’s sunny and she has her whole life ahead of her.
‘Oh tosh. Have you told her how you feel, Nick? Really told her how you feel?’
‘Well, no, not really. I mean, we had that one night together, which was a disaster, but since then we’ve just sort of left it.’
The enormous elephant.
‘You youngsters today. Maybe it’s all the coffee or the fact you think because you have so much choice in everything else, you’ll have all the choice in the world when it comes to love too. Well, I have some news for you, Nick, you don’t. Love is the most precious thing there is, and when you find it, you have to go for it. Do you know how many times my Derek asked me out before I said yes?’ I shake my head. ‘Fourteen times. Fourteen times he asked me out and thirteen times I said no. Imagine if he’d given up after the first few times because it didn’t feel right?’
‘Fourteen times?’ I say incredulously. ‘Why did you keep saying no?’
‘I wanted to see how much he really wanted to go out with me,’ says Dotty, and I can’t help but smile. ‘Tell her how you feel, Nick, or you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.’
‘But how?’
Dotty stands up slowly, and then she looks at me.
‘We’re going to the wedding, Nick, and you’re going to tell Meg exactly how you feel.’
I look at Dotty. It’s the craziest idea in the world. It’s something that’s completely against every fibre of my being. My brain instantly rejects the idea. It’s not something I would do. But looking at Dotty, and hearing her talk with such passion about love, something inside of me snaps. Dad’s words in my head. Sometimes when it comes to love, you have to be patient. I stand up too.
‘Well?’ says Dotty. ‘Are we going to the wedding or not?’
I look at Dotty. I smile.
‘You’d better put on something nice,’ I say, and Dotty smiles like I’ve never seen her smile before. It’s utterly bonkers, and I will probably regret it the minute I walk out of this flat, but Dotty and I are going to the wedding, and I’m going to tell Meg exactly how I feel. It will probably be a disaster, and I’ll embarrass myself in front of a room full of strangers, but then again, maybe not. Maybe Dotty is right. Sometimes you need to, as Roxette sang in the Eighties, listen to your heart.
Meg
The wedding went off without a hitch. Laura looked gorgeous in her wedding dress. The wedding dress she picked all by herself without help from anybody, and that cost twice as much as the ones we were looking at. I let that go. The room in the hotel where they got married was beautiful. It looked like an old chapel, with lots of original features, wood panelling, and it felt like going back in time. The whole day (designed by Laura) has a vintage feel to it. Simon was in a grey morning suit complete with top hat. Everyone looked fabulous. I was forced to wear possibly the ugliest dress of the day. It’s rose pink and doesn’t fit particularly well. It’s long and I think I look hideous in it. The colour also matches my hair, which made Laura even angrier. The other bridesmaid, Jenny, looks better in hers, but I can’t help but think that Laura purposely made us look plain and dowdy to make her stand out. The actual wedding was lovely, and I cried. Despite our tenuous relationship, it was nice to watch Laura getting married. To witness her happy ending.
After the wedding, we did the usual photos. I was there for quite a few of them. Try smiling more, Meg, that’s better. Look that way, put your hand on her shoulder, that’s right, and now look at me, and smile, there you go. Laura and Simon are still taking photos with the photographer. I’m back with everyone else drinking a glass of Prosecco and eating a delicious amuse-bouche. It’s a crab cake with sour cream and bacon. I’m with Mum and Dad, and there’s a band playing some light jazz. There’s bunting everywhere and it looks like a perfect English wedding scene from a film. A classic country house in the background, sipping on Prosecco, the gloriously green English countryside all around us, and my god the sun is shining. I imagine Hugh Grant will walk in at any moment and say something witty in his usual posh, bumbling style.
‘Nice suit,’ I say to Dad, who is looking very handsome in his navy blue Paul Smith suit.
‘Your mum made me buy it.’
‘It will be worth it later,’ says Mum, winking at Dad.
Later.
I don’t need to see this and imagine what that means for later. They’ve been like two dogs in heat all day. I look around and Adam, the best man, raises his glass at me. I smile back at him. I hope he doesn’t try to sleep with me. He’s good-looking enough, but it’s the last thing I need at the moment. A one-night stand with another man I don’t care about, won’t see again until one day I’ll bump into him at some social function, and he’ll be married to a woman called Jessica or something, and they’ll have two little kids, and he’ll look at me like, I haven’t forgotten. I’ll smile and shake Jessica’s hand and the kids will be adorable, and all I’ll be thinking about is the time Adam shagged me at Laura’s wedding.
I wander off to find another amuse-bouche, when my phone buzzes. Keri is trying to FaceTime me. I walk away until I find a quiet spot near a tree. There are cows in a nearby field.
‘Hello,’ I say when Keri and Hugh appear on screen.
They’re at the flat, and they’re both smiling. I can see from Keri’s face that she’s been crying a lot. Her eyes are red, and her face is puffy. Hugh’s been crying too, by the look of it.
‘How was the wedding?’ says Keri.
‘Good. Laura and Simon are off taking photos. I’m going to eat all the amuse-bouches, get drunk on Prosecco, and not sleep with the best man. So yeah, classic wedding stuff. More importantly, how are you two?’
Keri and Hugh look at each other and smile.
‘I’m freaking out, obviously,’ says Hugh.
