Page 34 of Not Moving Out
‘Out of your hair? Do I detect unrest?’ I asked, browsing the menu.
‘No, darling. Martin and I are fine, but we both need our own things. He has his old cars, and I have…’
‘Yes, Mum, what do you have?’
‘Plenty. I have the tennis club for a start, Pilates on Tuesday, the book club on Thursday, and Veronica, you know Veronica, she has the little Jack Russell with only three legs, we meet up at least twice a week. I’m very busy, darling.’
‘It sounds like it. Now, what are we going to order? I’m starving.’
I ended up going with the burger and Mum got the fish and chips, plus another two glasses of wine, and eventually the conversation circled back towards marriage.
‘How or when did you know your marriage was over?’ I asked Mum, as I ate the last few chips on my plate, dunking them in small puddles of blood-red ketchup. I looked across at Mum expectantly because we had never really spoken in depth about her and Dad. I knew they hadn’t been happy for a long time before they eventually separated, but I wasn’t sure how long it had been. Mum put her knife and fork down and looked across at me.
‘It was a different time then, darling. Do you know why I married your father?’
‘No.’
‘Because he asked. I was nineteen, living at home, desperate to leave, but with the pittance I earnt working, and how things were, the only way I was going to leave home was if I got married. You couldn’t just live with a man then, darling. My parents were very traditional and living in sin would have been a bloody scandal! I met your father, he had some money, a decent job, and he seemed nice enough, so I did what I had to do.’
‘Are you saying you and Dad were a marriage of convenience?’
‘You could say that, but honestly, darling, it wasn’t that uncommon back then. I loved your father, and I think he loved me in his own way, but I wouldn’t say we were ever in love,’ said Mum, doing actual air quotes around ‘in love’.
‘Wow, that’s, just… I’m not sure what to say, Mum.’
‘Look, it all worked out. We had you, the single greatest thing in both our lives. I’m happy with Martin, and I think your father is happy, too. Some people are lucky enough to marry their soulmate the first time around, darling, and for others, it takes time or doesn’t happen at all.’
‘What about me and Joe? Do you think he’s my soulmate?’
Mum looked at me and she smiled. ‘I can’t answer that, I’m afraid.’
‘Bugger. I was hoping for some sage advice.’
‘I will say this though. I always liked Joe, and the fact you’re still under the same roof and not killing each other says something. If your father and I had done what you’re doing, I suspect that one of us would be serving life for murder!’
‘You think that means something?’
‘I don’t know what it means, but it’s all the sage advice I have. Unless you need something on haemorrhoids because I’m quite the expert these days!’
We finished our lunch in the sunshine, and all I could think about was that my parents had only got married because it served a purpose. They had never experienced true love together, and that was definitely something that Joe and I had. When it had been good, it had been great, and surely that was something worth hanging on to. I didn’t know what that meant exactly, but one thing was certain, we were definitely a lot luckier than my parents.
Chapter Seventeen
Joe
Freya was sitting at a table in the corner of a quiet pub in Hove, and I walked across with our drinks, placing them down on the table. She had come straight from work and looked smart in a flower-print shirt and a navy skirt. Her hair was straight and tucked casually behind her ears, and despite everything, I still found her stunningly attractive. Physical attraction had never been a problem for me, although the slow death of our sex life suggested it was potentially an issue for her. The notion she had been more attracted to my sense of humour than my looks had popped into my head from time to time, but was it true? She had never been shy about telling me how handsome I was, even though clearly I was no Ewan McGregor or Jude Law. I think, in my eyes at least, she was out of my league, but I just happened to have the one thing she couldn’t resist – jokes. The thing was, when all you had was one outstanding quality, when that stopped working, you were left with nothing else. Maybe our relationship had just run out of laughs?
‘Thanks,’ said Freya, taking a sip of her wine.
‘You’re welcome,’ I replied, having a sip of my beer. ‘I called this meeting, so I guess I should start.’
There were two things on the agenda that we needed to discuss. The first was our upcoming annual summer party we threw every year, which we hadn’t yet cancelled, and the second was my sitcom. I had to tell Freya about it because it was going really well, and I knew I couldn’t stop now. I had already written the first episode, outlined two more, and I thought it could really be something. I had an upcoming meeting with Carl and we were going to delve into it and so I knew it was time to tell Freya about it. I hated lying to her, and it felt wrong and duplicitous not to discuss something so important with her. Also, things between us had been going so well recently, I felt sure she would understand.
‘Do you mind if I say something first?’ said Freya.
‘Umm, no, of course not.’
‘I know we’re here to talk about the summer party, and whether we should cancel or not, and I know it’s going to be a little weird this year with everything going on, but I think we’ve been doing so well recently, Joe, and it’s probably going to be the last one, so I think we should go ahead with it.’
