Page 44 of Not Moving Out
‘I know, me too, but Dolly is worried we can’t. I promised before the party that everything would be fine and look at what happened.’
‘I have apologised to you and Dolly multiple times. We’re okay now, aren’t we?’ said Joe, and he was right, we were okay, but there was definitely still an atmosphere between us, and I supposed it was up to me to make sure there wasn’t.
‘Yes we are and tonight is going to be great!’ I said with all the positivity and enthusiasm I could muster. I felt like a secondary school teacher trying to get pupils on board with a particularly boring school trip.Guys, this might look like just a small hill next to another slightly smaller hill but it’s actually a super important neolithic site!‘Let’s try really hard to be, I don’t know, normal, okay?’
Joe laughed. ‘I’m not even sure what that is any more, Freya.’
‘Me either, but we have to try.’
‘Although no amount of smiling and polite conversation is going to save the lasagne, I’m afraid. It’s basically roadkill in a fancy oven dish.’
‘I mean, how bad could it be?’
Fifty-seven minutes later, we were all sitting around the dining table about to find out. Maya and Dolly were on one side, and Joe and I were on the other. We had all just taken a bite of Joe’s vegan lasagne. We looked across at each other, and there was a moment when none of us knew exactly what to say. It really was awful. It somehow managed to taste bland but also absolutely horrible at the same time. It wasn’t like anything I’d had before. I looked across at Dolly, who was trying not to screw up her face in disgust, and poor Maya didn’t know what to say. I looked at Joe, and it was up to me to break the silence.
‘Joe, you were right about the lasagne,’ I said.
‘Probably the most inedible, disgusting thing any human being has ever cooked?’
‘That’s right,’ I said, and then I looked across at Dolly.
‘Thank God you said something. Sorry, Dad, but it’s really bad. Worse than Trifle-Gate two thousand and seventeen,’ said Dolly before she turned to Maya. ‘It’s okay, you don’t have to eat it.’
‘I’ve actually had worse,’ said Maya.
‘I can’t imagine how,’ said Joe.
‘When I first became vegan, Mum made a shepherd’s pie that somehow tasted fishy, and not the good sort of fishy either,’ said Maya.
We all laughed, and if there had been an air of tension or awkwardness, Joe’s vegan lasagne had certainly broken through it.
‘Shall I just order some pizzas?’ I said.
‘Now that,’ replied Joe, ‘sounds like a cracking idea. I’ll put the vegan lasagne in the only place it belongs. The bin!’
After Joe’s vegan lasagne disaster, dinner relaxed into a nice, easy-going affair, and once the pizza arrived, everything turned out perfectly. Maya spoke about her plans and what she might do after sixth form. She hadn’t got into her first-choice university like Dolly and was thinking about taking a gap year and travelling. I did notice a look from Dolly while Maya spoke about her desire to head to Southeast Asia, and how her older sister had spent six months travelling throughout Asia, and then a year working in Australia. I wondered how Dolly felt about it because I knew she was set on going straight to Durham. Obviously, if Maya was going to be travelling for a year, it would put a strain on their relationship, and perhaps at their age it might be insurmountable.
After dinner, Joe served a delicious vegan apple crumble with vegan custard that more than made up for the lasagne. I served coffee, and afterwards, Dolly and Maya went upstairs to her room, and I helped Joe clear up. It had definitely been a success, and it had even brought Joe and me a little closer together again.
‘That went well,’ I said, on drying-up duty, while Joe washed.
‘It did, despite the vegan lasagne.’
‘Another beer?’
‘Are you having another wine?’
‘Fine, one more,’ I said, before I put the tea towel down, got Joe a beer, and poured myself a small glass of white wine. I returned to help Joe finish washing up.
‘Thanks,’ said Joe, taking a sip of beer before he washed up the last few items. ‘Just leave the rest of the drying up.’
‘Yeah?’
‘Let’s sit down.’
We took our drinks and sat down at the dining table.
‘What do you think of Maya?’ I asked.
