Page 56 of Not Moving Out
‘Can I give you some advice?’ said Helen.
‘Of course, please,’ I replied.
‘After my divorce, it took me a long time to really discover who I was again. I needed time to just be me and sit with that. I’m not saying you shouldn’t date or shouldn’t get back with Joe if that’s what you want, but make sure you take some time to just be you, too. I know it’s a cliché, but date yourself for a little bit.’
‘Such good advice,’ said Debs.
‘One hundred per cent agree,’ said Caroline.
‘I definitely will,’ I replied. ‘Whatever happens with Joe, I feel like I’m at a point in my life when I need to start doing things for myself. I’ve spent so many years being a wife and a mother, it’s like I’ve forgotten what it’s like just being a woman.’
‘I know what you mean,’ said Caroline. ‘I’ve been desperately trying to organise a holiday away or something. I need a break.’
‘Me, too,’ said Lucy. ‘Between ferrying the boys backwards and forwards all across Sussex for cricket, and balancing Stuart’s insane work schedule, it feels like all I get for myself is this.’
‘It sounds like we need to organise something,’ said Debs.
‘Like a holiday away?’ replied Lucy, and we all looked at each other, smiled, and the seed had been planted.
We started swimming and moving around in silence, and then after about ten minutes we waded back to shore, battling against the waves that were stronger than usual and seemed desperate to push me over. I managed to get back to the beach without injury, and we all dried off and had our hot beverages. I had a strong coffee, which was much needed, but as I headed back to the house I felt a lot better than when I had left. My mind was clearer, my body stronger and ready to face the day, and my hangover all but gone. I was dreading seeing Joe again though. Would he even be up? It was only eight o’clock. Perhaps I would have time for breakfast first, and another cup of coffee before I would have to face up to the repercussions of the night before.
I opened the front door, wondering if I would see Joe straight away, but as I closed the door and walked into the hallway, it seemed to be quiet. I poked my head around the door of the living room, and he wasn’t there, so I walked along the hallway into the kitchen and saw Dolly sitting down at the dining table. Immediately, I knew something was wrong.
‘Dolly. You’re home from Maya’s early?’ I said, walking across. Dolly was eating a bowl of cereal, but stopped, and then immediately burst into tears. ‘Oh, baby, what’s happened?’ I said, and she fell into my arms. I squeezed her tightly against me, and she wept into my shoulder.
‘It’s Maya and me, I think we’ve broken up,’ she said eventually.
‘Oh, Dolly,’ I replied, slightly relieved that was all it was, although obviously I knew that at her age, and with Maya being her first girlfriend, it probably felt like the end of the world. First loves were always one of the hardest. ‘I’m sorry, love. What happened?’
‘You know she’s going travelling now instead of uni?’
‘Yes.’
‘Well, now she’s going travelling with Faith.’
‘Faith? Who’s Faith?’
‘A girl from college, who has fancied Maya for ages. She’s the worst, but now she and Maya are like best friends. I was over Maya’s house last night, and suddenly Faith turned up, and all they spoke about all night was travelling. Where they’re going to go, what they’re going to do, the best beaches in Thailand, and getting working holiday visas for Australia, and Maya couldn’t give a shit about me. All she cares about now is travelling, and Faith, apparently.’
‘I’m sorry, love.’
‘We had a huge argument at midnight last night. I was going to come home, but her mum told me to sleep in the spare room. I didn’t even see Maya this morning, and I came straight home. I think I’m over her, Mum. I mean, we can’t really keep dating once I’m at uni anyway, and she’s going travelling for a year. It’s really shit because I thought we had something special.’
I looked at Dolly and my heart went out to her. I remembered having my heart broken for the first time, and it was awful, and so I knew the pain she was going through. I was also so proud of her because she was mature enough, despite how much she liked Maya, to realise it was over. It took a strong mind, and someone secure in themselves to recognise when it was time to move on. It had taken Joe and me a long time to have that conversation.
‘You think it’s definitely over?’
‘I do,’ said Dolly, and I could see more tears in her eyes, and in that moment I knew exactly what she needed.
‘Fancy a morning on the sofa with Harry Potter?’ I asked because she had been a massive Harry Potter fan growing up. She had read every book at least five times and watched the films multiple times. Over the last couple of years, her interest had waned slightly, but sometimes when we were feeling down it was nice to be reminded of what it felt like to be young again. Nostalgia always had a way of making you feel better.
‘That would be nice. Thanks, Mum,’ said Dolly with a fragile smile.
‘Okay, you get it ready. I just need to have some breakfast, and I’ll bring it through.’
Dolly walked off towards the living room to get the film ready, and I tidied up her bowl, and then I made myself a bowl of muesli, and put the kettle on for a cup of coffee. I assumed Joe was still asleep because I hadn’t heard any noise from upstairs. I would deal with him later, but at that moment I just wanted to watch Harry Potter with my daughter and make sure she was all right because, when it came down to it, nothing mattered as much as Dolly. She would always come first, no matter what.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
