Page 76 of Not Moving Out
‘Because you just gave me the most brilliant idea.’
‘Right, well, you’re welcome, son.’
‘Thank you.’
‘Do you need any help with it, or—’
‘Not right now, but thank you, and Dad, am I going to see you before you leave for France?’
‘Actually, now you mention it, I was hoping to stay with you for a few days once the house is sold, if that’s all right?’
‘Of course. Whenever you want. Just let me know the dates, and we’ll sort it out. Okay, I have to go. I have a huge romantic gesture to plan!’
‘Good luck,’ said Dad before he added, ‘and, you know, maybe give the house a spring clean, too, and that steak dinner will probably help. Just saying.’
‘Will do, Dad,’ I said, and then we hung up, and I had a lot of work to do.
The plan had come to me when Dad had mentioned the show. It was like the whole thing appeared to me in the way that sometimes ideas for shows would come to me while I was drifting off to sleep. This was a big, romantic idea and I would need some help, and I had no clue how long it would take to put it together, so I had to get going right away. I needed to call Carl because I would definitely need his assistance, and Dolly, too. I didn’t know if this would be enough, but I had to try. My marriage was on the line and there was nothing I wouldn’t do to make it work.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Freya
It had been an incredible few days, and we had already seen and done so much. After a little bit of tiredness and jet lag when we had arrived, on the first full day in New York we had been to Central Park, eaten the best pizza of my life at John’s Pizzeria in Greenwich Village, seen theFriendsbuilding, gone to the Friends Experience, taken the subway, which was nothing like the London Underground, had some delicious coffee, and then a great night out at a bar on the Upper East Side. On day two, we had taken the ferry to the Statue of Liberty, gone to see the 9/11 museum, which was difficult and emotional but well worth it, and we were spending the night at a rooftop bar in Midtown with sweeping views across the city skyline. It was a gorgeous evening, the views were to die for, and so were the drinks.
‘My feet are literally dying,’ said Debs. ‘How far did we walk today?’
Caroline looked at her Apple Watch. ‘Almost twenty-five thousand steps.’
‘Which is how far in old money?’ asked Debs. ‘For the people without Apple Watches.’
‘Almost twelve miles,’ said Caroline.
‘No wonder my feet feel like they’ve been attacked!’ said Debs.
‘Tomorrow is going to be even more walking,’ said Lucy. ‘Sorry.’
‘It’s okay,’ said Debs. ‘I need to walk twelve miles just to walk off all the food!’
It was true that our New York diet had been quite carbohydrate heavy. Most days we had bagels for breakfast, pizza for lunch and sometimes dinner, and also lots of dessert. If we didn’t all want to return to Cold Water Club a good stone heavier, we needed to keep walking. As we sat there, Lucy’s phone buzzed with a text. She looked down at it, smiled, quickly texted something back, and then put her phone back on the table.
‘Who was that?’ I asked.
‘Stuart,’ said Lucy. ‘He couldn’t find something for George, needed help logging into the online banking because he had somehow locked himself out, and he loved me.’
‘Men. Bloody useless without us,’ said Helen.
‘Totally true,’ said Caroline. ‘I’ve had over fifteen texts from Mark in the last day alone, asking how to do things. I just replied, figure it out! Honestly, if something happened to me, I’d give them a month before they were basically savages.’
‘Oh my God,’ said Lucy. ‘If something happened to me, Stuart wouldn’t know how to do anything. He’s great at work, but essentially just another child at home. Actually, now that I think about it, George is probably more useful.’
‘Do you think they do it on purpose?’ asked Amy. ‘Fergus and I don’t have any children, so he doesn’t have that excuse, but the man can’t even put on bed sheets properly!’
‘I believe it’s called weaponised incompetence,’ said Lucy. ‘I know for a fact Stuart intentionally does things badly, just so I’ll do them instead.’
‘Mark, too! I mean, how hard is it to unload the dishwasher? He will go into the dishwasher in the morning, take out what he needs, and leave the rest!’ said Caroline.
‘Now that is lazy!’ said Helen, as our food arrived, and we ordered more drinks.
