Page 79 of Not Moving Out
Dolly stationed herself by the front window so she could see when Freya pulled up outside, while I waited in the hallway with the sign. I imagined Freya arriving at Heathrow, and walking through the arrivals gate where they had filmed the opening scene fromLove Actually. That montage of families and lovers reuniting to the voiceover of Hugh Grant telling us that love actually is all around. It was beautiful, and Richard Curtis had been right the whole bloody time. Was he ever wrong?
‘She’s here!’ Dolly suddenly exclaimed from the living room. ‘Mum’s home!’
The next second I heard Dolly running from the living room and into the hallway.
‘Right, I’m ready to hold the world’s lamest sign and completely embarrass myself,’ said Dolly. ‘You do know that someone might film it on their phone, and if Mum says no, and you start crying like a baby, it will be all over the internet in like five minutes. Hashtag not love actually.’
‘Hilarious. Now, grab your end of the sign and let’s go!’
I opened the front door, and then we picked up the sign and walked outside. Luckily it was a gloriously sunny day, and not pissing down with rain. I had decided on the sign yesterday morning, and I had gone out, bought the necessary materials and made it last night. The occasion felt like it needed a big gesture and this was definitely a big gesture. We shuffled outside and stood across the front of the house, holding the sign out wide so Freya could read it as soon as she arrived. A black Mercedes van was parked outside, and then the sliding door opened, and Freya got out. She stood on the pavement, and turned towards us.
She was looking directly at the huge sign that said in large, hand-painted letters:
FREYA JANE WALLACE, WILL YOU MARRY ME… AGAIN?
The moment she saw it, Freya’s hand went to her mouth, and then she slowly walked towards us. At the same time, Lucy got out of the van, dashed past Freya and then towards us.
‘Sorry, Joe, I really need a wee!’ said Lucy quickly. ‘Oh, nice sign.’
Lucy ran past us and into the house, as Freya slowly walked towards us. Other people were walking past the house and looking on with interest. I did see someone with their phone pointed at us. Was Dolly going to be proved correct, and if Freya rejected me, would I be all over social media in a matter of hours with some unfortunate romantic-comedy-based hashtag?
‘Joe, what’s this? Will I marry you? Again?’ said Freya, standing in front of me looking completely flabbergasted. Slowly, from the black van, other members of Cold Water Club emerged. I hadn’t met any of them yet, and so this was definitely going to be a talking point if Freya and I worked things out and they became a part of my life, too.
‘Hi, Mum!’ said Dolly, still holding up her end of the sign.
‘Hello, love,’ said Freya, still visibly shocked.
I took a deep breath, as time seemed to slow, and then I began to speak. Five days of thinking, planning and knowing exactly what I wanted to say to my wife.
‘Freya, when I was at the meeting at the BBC, they all asked me whether I thought the couple in the show would ultimately get back together, and I said I didn’t know. Honestly, I wasn’t sure, but then literally everyone in the meeting, including Carl as it turned out, said that they were clearly still in love, and it got me thinking. Everything that has happened to us over the last six months, the good and the bad, it’s all because I still love you. I probably wouldn’t have written a whole show about us, which turns out to be nothing more than a love letter to you, if I wasn’t still in love with you. I know I fucked up, have spent far too long taking you for granted, making mistakes, but if there is one thing I have learnt over the past six months, it’s that I don’t want to share a house with anyone else for the rest of my life but you.’
‘Oh, Joe,’ said Freya with tears pooling in her eyes.
‘I want to be unseparated from you, Freya, and I know it’s not going to be easy, and will require work, but Iwantto do the work. I want to grow old together and make our life exactly the way we had always dreamed about. I also know it will take a lot more than just a sign to show how much I love you, so if you’d like to come inside, I have something to show you.’
The other members of Cold Water Club were awkwardly hanging around on the pavement and then Lucy reappeared from using the toilet.
‘Can everyone come inside?’ said Freya.
‘Umm, well, what I made is quite—’
‘Dad,’ said Dolly. ‘I think everyone should see what you made. Plus, it’s probably a lot better than this sign. It is better, right?’
‘Yes, it’s better. Fine, everyone come inside!’ I said loudly so everyone could hear. It wasn’t in ‘The Plan’, but then again, none of this was in my life plan, was it?
We all marched inside the house and they all followed me into the kitchen diner. The room was completely dark, and I had set up the computer, which I had managed, with Dolly’s help, to connect to the television and I had it all ready to go.
‘Come in and sit down,’ I said nervously.
Everyone came in and found a seat.
‘What’s going on, Joe?’ said Freya.
‘Just watch,’ I said, going to my computer and starting the video.
The idea had come to me when Dad had mentioned the show. Somehow my mind connected the show to me creating a short film of our marriage – the story of us. Luckily, we had plenty of footage from our wedding, and then a little later, lots of videos of us on our phones we had taken over the years. What I needed from Carl was someone with the technical know-how to take all the footage I could find, edit it together, and put some music over the top. Fortunately, Carl knew exactly the person who was willing to help, and so we spent the next few days creating this film. The film Freya, Dolly, Lucy, the rest of Cold Water Club and myself had just settled in to watch.
After I had watched it for the first time, already with tears in my eyes, I had decided on the Snow Patrol song ‘You Could Be Happy’. Three minutes and two seconds of Snow Patrol brilliance would say everything I needed to say to Freya, and it had a wonderful poignancy to it that along with the film had me in floods. The film opened with footage from our wedding, and then some rather rough footage from our honeymoon, and then gradually over the years as technology improved and film quality got considerably better, shots of me and Freya together. Dancing at a wedding in Edinburgh, walking along a beach, playing with a very young Dolly, holidays abroad, simple moments at home we had caught on our phones, laughing and walking along the South Bank in London, on the beach in Brighton, ice cream and cocktails, and every moment I could find when we were so happy, and I hoped it showed Freya how happy we could be again.
