Page 2 of Wish You Were Here
‘I think that’s a bit of a stretch,’ I say, feeling somewhat defensive. ‘I agree she’s probably not long-term wife potential, but she’s not doing me any harm.’
‘Oh, really?’ says Will pointedly. ‘Last month, we had that boy’s night out that Flatmate Simon and I had spent weeks planning, and everything was ready to go. We were all looking forward to it, reservations had been made, and then at the last minute you cancelled. Why?’
Everyone looks towards me.
‘I mean, that’s not really—’
‘Why?’ says Will firmly.
‘Saffy wasn’t well. She had a headache, an upset tummy, and, you know, allergies, if I remember correctly,’ I reply, realising as I’m saying it how woefully pathetic it sounds in hindsight.
‘So you cancelled a boy’s night out that had been strategically planned, jotted into calendars for months because Saffy was feeling a little under the weather,’ says Will.
‘I’d say she was feeling a little worse than under the weather, Will.’
‘Remind me again for everyone in the room. Where did she go the following day?’
‘The next day?’ I ask, bidding myself some time because I know exactly where she went the following day, and I know that Will knows too.
‘Yes, Benjamin, the following day,’ says Will, in an accusatory tone.
‘I mean, is that really—’
‘Answer the question!’
‘Thorpe Park.’
‘She wasn’t really sick at all, was she?’ says Will, prosecuting the case. His one year studying law at university is coming to the fore. ‘I bring into evidence this post from Saffy’s Instagram account dated the day of Thorpe Park. Would you look at my phone, Ben, and describe for the benefit of everyone in the room, what Saffy is doing in said photo?’
I look closely at the post, and I know exactly what she is doing. I liked the post.
‘She’s riding the Colossus roller coaster.’
‘The girl who was on death’s door one day is riding the Colossus roller coaster the next!’ says Will, and everyone in the room gasps in horror, which is, I think, a touch melodramatic. ‘I rest my case.’
‘Bravo, Will!’ says Abigail, clapping.
‘But that was just one night. I hardly think it calls for an intervent—’
‘Last Sunday!’ says Poppy. ‘The roast at our flat. Hugh spent a fortune on that topside of beef from Ginger Pig. I spent all morning slaving over the duck fat roast potatoes, the Gordon Ramsay cauliflower cheese and our grandmother’s famous Yorkshire puddings. Then what happened?’
I have to admit that Saffy wasn’t at her best on that particular Sunday. Although to be fair, she’d had a very stressful week at work, her father was coming to stay in London and whenever he was around, she was always on edge, and she had just started her period. Some might call it the perfect storm.
‘To be fair, she apologised.’
‘I don’t think a brief text with a sad face emoji and the prayer hands emoji, really qualifies as an apology, Ben!’ says Poppy. ‘She ruined Sunday lunch with her constant complaining about everything from the food to our choice of plates, opened that bottle of wine Hugh and I were saving for a special occasion, and then when we think she can’t be any worse, she insults our very nice neighbours, the Sharma’s!’
‘She was having a bad day,’ I say, and my friends and Poppy all look at me, and I know they’re right. Of course they’re bloody right. This is the thing about Saffy. She’s been my biggest blind spot for the past year and a half since we started our on and off again relationship. I know she has some awful personality traits, and there have been numerous times when I have questioned myself over my decision to date her. But here’s the thing, when it feels like we’re on the brink of breaking-up, when I feel like I’ve had enough, we share a moment when things are great, and I feel like we might make it to the next level, before she ultimately does something or says something, and I realise that actually, she just isn’t a very nice person. Saffy and I do have a strongphysical attraction, and perhaps it is that which is keeping us together.
‘Ben,’ says Poppy. ‘As your big sister, I think it’s my responsibility to look after you and make sure you’re okay. You need to break up with Saffy or you’re never going to be happy.’
I look across at Poppy, and my friends, and I know it’s time. I have to end things with Saffy for good. The thing is, I want a proper girlfriend. Someone I really like, could see myself with for the long-term, perhaps even marry, and someone my friends and family genuinely like too. I know Saffy isn’t that person. She is never going to beThe One.
‘Fine, you’re right. I’ll break up with her.’
‘Yes!’ proclaims Will.
‘Good choice, mate,’ says Flatmate Simon.
