Page 49 of Wish You Were Here
‘Are we exclusive?’
‘Is that what you want?’
I have to take a moment to think about this because this conversation was unplanned, and I am not prepared for it at all. Do I want to start a serious relationship with Brad? Is he real boyfriend material or just a casual fuck buddy? I can’t help but think that I need to listen to Jess because I have always trusted her, but at the same time, maybe Brad is right and our friendship has just come to a rather sad conclusion. She’s going to be living an hour and a half away soon, and we aren’t even going to be a big part of each other’s lives anymore. Should I knock this thingwith Brad on the head because of Jess, when soon we’ll barely see each other? I need to look after myself, and so after a minute I look across the table and say.
‘It is, yeah.’
‘Then let’s do it! You and me. Exclusive rights.’
‘There’s going to be a lot of disappointed men in Sydney,’ I say, and Brad laughs.
‘Come here,’ he says, leaning across the table and kissing me, and just like that, it seems that Brad and I are a proper couple.
We end up ordering far too much food, and we have to bring some back with us, but as we walk along the beach, hand-in-hand, on such a lovely warm evening, I don’t think I have been this content for a long time. Yes, the thing with Jess is a bit of a dark cloud, I’m worried about Lou, I need to speak with Ben, but in two weeks I’m turning thirty, I have a gig in front of Fudge Cake and I have a super-hot new boyfriend.
We stroll back to his flat, enjoying the sun that’s on its way down, and when we get back, Brad puts the food in the fridge and is going to get us a glass of wine, when my phone rings and when I look down, I see that Ben is trying to FaceTime. Shit! I still haven’t explained Ben to Brad, not that I even know what to say or how to categorise our relationship. There isn’t yet a word for the sort of weird predicament I find myself in with Ben.
‘I have a FaceTime. Can I take it in your bedroom?’ I ask Brad.
‘No worries,’ Brad replies, filling up two wine glasses. I walk into his bedroom, closing the door behind me. I don’t know why, but I’m nervous as I answer.
‘Ben, hi!’
‘Hello, Sas. Oh, where are you?’
‘I’m at Brad’s flat in Bondi.’
‘Oh, right,’ says Ben, a note of something slightly awkward in his voice. Ben is in his bedroom, as usual. ‘It looks nice.’
‘Yeah, it’s good. How ya goin’?’
‘Yes, all good. Actually, I have some news.’
‘Sounds intriguing, Beno.’
‘I’ve met someone,’ he says, and for a moment, I feel something I’m sure is jealousy.
My feelings radar has definitely been a little off recently, so I’m not entirely sure. My chest tightens, my heart races, and I feel a sharp pang of resentment that takes me by surprise.
‘Oh, right. Who?’
‘It was the strangest thing. The other day, I randomly bumped into my old university girlfriend, Jemma. I haven’t seen her since we broke up, but we went out for a drink, one thing led to another, and anyway, it’s quite exciting.’
‘I’m happy for you, Beno.’
‘Yeah?’
‘Yeah.’
‘It came completely out of the blue, Sas, but the date was amazing, and it was like we took up exactly where we left off. Well, not exactly where we left off, obviously, because we broke up, but when it was good.’
‘So you think she might beThe One?’
‘I don’t know, it’s too early for that, but it’s looking good. After all my recent disappointments in that department, I’m excited to see where it might go.’
‘Maybe you don’t have to move out of London, after all.’
‘Maybe.’
