Page 58 of Wish You Were Here
Brad is standing next to me in a pair of tight red budgie-smugglers, and he does have an incredible body, which makes me feel a little insecure about mine because I am standing in front of him in just my bikini. My body is fine, I guess, and it doesn’t usually bother me much because I accept who I am, and in front of most blokes it wouldn’t worry me, but standing nextto Brad, it’s hard not to feel a little insecure. He’s also completely hairless – and I mean completely hairless – which is something I have always struggled with. I am not a totally hairless woman, don’t want to be because it’s bloody annoying, and again with most blokes, it’s not an issue, but next to Brad with his less than ten per cent body fat, perfect tan and literally zero hair, I do feel a little self-conscious about my slightly squishy, pale white and definitely not hairless body.
We’re in Brad’s mate’s backyard, and it is beautiful. They have a gorgeous house in North Bondi, which must have cost millions, and the yard has a swimming pool, palm trees, and then at the back they have the plunge pool and the wooden sauna. It feels like we’re at a fancy resort.
‘How cold is it exactly?’ I ask.
‘Eight degrees,’ says Brad with a smile. I don’t think he should be smiling like that. ‘Do you want me to go first, Sas? Show you how it’s done?’
‘No, I’ll go. I just want to get it over and done with,’ I reply, and I guess I am really going to do this. For the record, I don’t go into the sea, and I take my showers hot. I don’t, as a rule, like being cold, so choosing to go into a freezing cold plunge pool is against all my natural instincts. My brain is saying: NO FUCKING WAY!
‘When you first get in, your body will go into shock, Sas, so remember to breathe. Try to relax. You can only stay in for about two minutes at most.’
‘It’s going to be painful?’
‘At first, yeah, but afterwards you’ll feel incredible. Then we’ll jump in the sauna!’
I look at Brad, wondering what the hell I am doing with my life, and decide I just need to get in and get it over with. After a couple of deep breaths, I take the plunge. I put my hands on the outside of the wooden plunge pool and slowly lower myself in.
‘Good job, babe! Just make sure to breathe!’ says ever enthusiastic Brad.
IT IS FUCKING FREEZING! I mean, the coldest water I have ever felt. I lower myself in, and Brad immediately starts the timer on his phone for two minutes.
‘FUUUUCK!’ I say out loud, my teeth chattering.
‘You’ve got this, babe!’ says Brad, and even with the immediate shock and the fact it’s hard to catch my breath, and fears I might die, I have to question why Brad has started to call me babe. Before today, he has never once called me babe, but now it’s been twice, and I’m not sure I like it. However, this thought quickly goes away as the cold really starts to burn. It feels like a thousand tiny needles are being pushed into my skin all at once. I am beginning to worry about my relationship with Brad because, as people, we are quite different. He likes to push the envelope and challenge himself, and we are doing things like kayaking, cold-plunging and what’s next? Will I soon be training for my first half-marathon, skydiving or joining a gym? Will Brad become my gym buddy, and I’ll soon be logging my protein intake and watching my fats? I’m worried that when it comes down to it, Brad needs someone more like him, and I probably need someone more like me.
‘How much longer?’ I ask, but it takes about a minute to say these three words because my teeth are chattering so much and my whole body is shaking uncontrollably.
‘About a minute thirty, babe.’
Babe, again?
I close my eyes and try to focus on my breathing and the fact that in a few minutes, I’ll be sitting in a far too hot sauna, wishing I were colder. It’s all in the mind, I tell myself. Focus. The pain becomes almost unbearable. I can’t stop myself from shivering, and it’s the longest two minutes of my life, but eventually it is over. I get out and straight into a towel to dry off,while Brad gets himself ready to get in. Brad also brought along a robe for me to put on, and so I wrap myself in that while Brad gets into the plunge pool. Unlike me, he eases himself in, starts rhythmically breathing and doesn’t shiver uncontrollably. He sets his timer for five minutes, sits back and is clearly enjoying himself. Give him a beer and he’s on holiday!
While Brad is in the plunge pool, and I am slowly warming up again, I hear my phone ping with a notification. I walk across to my things, rummage through my bag for my phone, finally find it and there is a reply from Jess.
Sure. Meet for a drink tomorrow at 5:30?
I reply and agree to meet her at a pub in the CBD, before I get back to Brad in the plunge pool. Unlike me, he looks completely at ease in the cold water. He must be half-human, half-penguin.
‘Good job, babe!’ I say, cringing at my use of the word babe, but he smiles and gives me the thumbs up. Apparently, he can’t talk because he needs to focus on his breathing and regulating his core body temp – he explains this to me afterwards.
I’m happy Jess replied, although nervous to see her again, but hopefully we can sort things out before my birthday. I don’t want to turn thirty arguing with Jess because I want it to be the beginning of the best decade of my life, and I need to be okay with Jess for that to happen. After five minutes, Brad hops out of the plunge pool, and we go into the sauna. It’s beautiful inside, and you can control the heat levels, and we sit and sweat together until it becomes unbearable, and I tell Brad that I need to get out before I pass out. Brad can apparently stay in for much longer, but agrees because I think, like me, he fears I might die.
‘Sorry, but I need to be at a normal temperature again,’ I say, and Brad smiles.
‘No worries, babe.’
I think about asking him why he’s started calling me babe but decide to let it go. You need to keep some things back in a relationship because if I get all militant about giving each other names like babe, then when we have a real problem, I will have used up some of my complaining credits over the overuse of an affectionate nickname. Instead, I decide I’m going to start calling him boo, which might come across as slightly passive-aggressive, but I am prepared to risk it.
‘I’m meeting Jess for a drink tomorrow,’ I say, as we pack up our stuff. We are heading back to his flat for showers.
‘Yeah? That’s good. I hope she’s all right with me now.’
‘Let’s hope. Do you and Aaron talk about us?’
‘Not much. It’s a bit weird, so we stick to the footie instead.’
‘Sounds about right,’ I say, picking up my bag, and then Brad walks across, puts his arms around me and gives me a kiss.
