Page 61 of Wish You Were Here
‘I just have a hunch,’ I reply.
‘What are we going with?’ asks Poppy, and we all look at each other.
‘I say ninety-six,’ says Will, and we all agree because none of us really know, and Poppy scribbles it down.
‘If you’re right and I do have this constant case of buyer’s remorse, what should I do?’ I ask the group because this is why I called them here. Clearly, I make awful decisions if left to my own devices.
‘I think you need to end things with Saskia and focus on Jemma,’ says Will. ‘She’s clearly into you, makes you happy, and let’s face it, you are punching above your weight there, mate.’ I notice that when he says this, everyone at the table slowly nods in agreement. ‘Go all in on Jemma because even if Saskia is perfect for you, she’s also ten thousand miles away.’
‘Agreed,’ says Abigail. ‘Saskia might be brilliant, but you’ve never actually met in person, you don’t know what you’re really getting with her, and she lives in Australia. Hardly the perfect girlfriend, while Jemma is awesome, lives nearby and you are already going out.’
I look towards Poppy. ‘I take it you feel the same?’
‘I do. A bird in the hand. Plus, I already have Jemma’s number in my phone, so it’s just easier.’
‘Thank you for that. Hugh?’
‘You know me, Ben, not one to rock the old boat.’
‘So, you agree with Poppy?’
‘Always,’ says Hugh, earning a solid smile from Poppy.
‘And lastly. What do you think?’ I ask Simon, who looks at Abigail, and then he turns towards me and says.
‘Actually, I am going to say something different. If you really believe that Saskia might be your soulmate, and if you’re unsure about Jemma, then I think you need to explore that. Sorry everyone, it’s just the way I feel.’
‘Thanks, mate,’ I say, before Simon adds.
‘Although obviously, I think what Abigail said is also valid.’
So, that’s it. Everyone in the group, bar Simon, thinks I need to stop FaceTiming with Saskia and go all in on Jemma, and maybe they are right. It would make my life so much easier.
‘Question number twenty!’ says Ricky, much drunker than when he started the quiz. He still has ten more questions to go. He’s going to be hammered by the time he finishes. ‘What is the French phrase for a threesome?’
When Ricky says this, everyone at the table looks towards me before Simon says.
‘I think Ben’s got this one.’ Which, of course, makes everyone start laughing.
The quiz continues to question thirty, but the conversation about my love life is seemingly over, and it seems like I only really have one choice. I have to end things with Saskia, whether I want to or not. After the quiz, which doesn’t go well for our team – we get a measly nineteen out of thirty – and Ricky needs to be escorted outside because he’s too drunk, we get another round of drinks.
Poppy fills us in on her pregnancy, Will tells us all about his Ironman training, and his plans for a month-long trek through Patagonia. Sometimes it is hard to be friends with Will because he makes my life seem quite mundane. The other day I was pondering doing a ten-minute ab workout – in the end I made my peace with a five-minute ab workout and then a bit of a lie down – while Will ran ten miles this morning, biked for twenty and did a one-mile swim. He’s off coasteering in Cornwall duringthe week. I imagine it’s like being pals with Tom Cruise, but without all the weird Scientology stuff.
Eventually, as we’re finishing up our drinks, Simon taps his pint glass, and we all look towards him.
‘I have something to say,’ says Simon.
‘Actually,wehave something to say,’ says Abigail.
‘Oh my God, you’re pregnant!’ says Poppy.
‘Not pregnant,’ says Poppy.
‘We’re moving in together!’ says Simon, before he immediately looks at me. ‘Sorry, mate, but we’re in love and we just want to be together all the time.’
‘It’s okay,’ I reply, and it is, but it still makes me incredibly sad because Simon and I have lived together for eight years. It’s the end of an era.
‘I won’t move out until you find a replacement,’ says Simon.
