Page 62 of Wish You Were Here
‘Where will you live?’ asks Poppy.
‘We’ve been looking at flats in Streatham,’ says Abigail.
‘Streatham is fab!’ says Poppy. ‘We have friends there.’
‘Are you sure it’s okay?’ says Simon, looking at me.
‘Of course, mate. No matter what, you’ll always be Flatmate Simon.’
Simon goes off to the bar with Abigail to get in another round, and with that it seems I’m going to have to find a new flatmate. I also have to tell Saskia we can’t FaceTime anymore, and my life feels like it’s suddenly moving along at quite a rate of knots and whether I like it or not, I have some big decisions to make – I just hope I don’t end up with buyer’s remorse once again.
26
Saskia
I am walking towards the pub to meet Jess, and I have sweaty palms and heart palpitations like I am going on a blind date. I don’t get this nervous before I’m about to go on stage, but I have no idea what to expect from Jess. Will she be aggressive, ready for a fight, or will she be, like me, an emotional mess who just needs a good hug? After I tried FaceTiming with Ben, I eventually got a message from him saying he wants to FaceTime tomorrow – on my birthday. It’s weird, but it feels like something has happened to him or between us. I know he has a girlfriend now, and I have Brad, but it feels like he’s pulling away from me. Maybe he’s just bored with me. I hope not because I love having Beno in my life, and despite dating Brad, I want to keep talking with Ben.
I reach the pub and stand outside for a moment. I take a deep breath, close my eyes and say these words in my head:Please let this be okay. Then, I open my eyes and walk inside.
The pub is on George Street, slap bang in the middle of the CBD, so it’s busy, but it doesn’t take me long to find Jess, who is already sitting down at a table with a glass of white wine. The moment she sees me, she stands up. I walk across and I’m standing there, and she is standing opposite me, and we’re just looking at each other.Please let this be okay. Then it happens.Jess starts to cry, and because she starts to cry, I start to cry, and then we fall into each other, hugging and talking in high-pitched, incoherent voices.
‘I’m so sorry. I was horrible to you,’ says Jess.
‘I’m sorry, too. I didn’t handle it well, and I know you only want me to be happy.’
‘I do just want you to be happy, Sas, but I was a bitch, and the things I said to you were the worst. I have missed you heaps.’
‘I have missed you heaps,’ I reply, and we keep hugging, crying, and everyone else in the pub probably thinks we are absolutely mental, but I don’t care. Eventually, we untangle ourselves, wiping our faces, before we smile at each other and then we both laugh.
‘I’m so sorry,’ says Jess as we sit down. ‘Even Az said I was a bitch that night.’
‘Why didn’t you call me?’
‘Because I was worried you wouldn’t want a bar of me. That I had gone too far and lost you forever.’
‘But it’s us. We’ve been mates all our lives.’
‘I know, and I’m really sorry about what I said about your dad. That was totally not on, and what I said about your singing—’
‘But do you believe that, Jess? That I’m just wasting my time?’
‘No, of course not. You’re a fucking ace singer, Sas. I don’t know, maybe I was just on my period, but please can we just forget about it because I have so much to tell you?’
‘Me too. Let me get a drink first, and then—’
‘No way, you stay there, I’m getting the drinks in,’ says Jess, before she strides off towards the bar, and I am so relieved. My heart was racing, and I felt physically sick before I spoke with Jess, but now, finally, I can relax. We are going to be okay. She returns with a glass of wine for me and another for her, and weboth take a sip of our drinks before we put them down and look across the table at each other.
‘Let’s not ever argue again,’ I say.
‘Agreed! I have missed you heaps, Sas. I love Az, but he’s shit at girl talk.’
I laugh. ‘Poor Az.’
‘Poor me.’
‘So, catch me up. What’s been going on with you? I want all the goss.’
‘We lost the house in Avalon.’
