Page 73 of Wish You Were Here
‘I promise,’ I say, although I have no idea if this is actually possible, but it’s a long way off and hopefully he won’t hold me to it when the time comes.
‘Are you even allowed to keep it?’ asks Mum. ‘Is it legal? Is it fraud?’
‘It’s not fraud, Mum. He gave me the money because he had no-one else to give it to.’
‘You’re sure?’ says Mum. ‘One hundred per cent sure because the last thing I need right now is you going to prison because you swindled an old man out of twenty grand. The Moroccan camel dung sculptures took a lot out of me emotionally.’
‘It was an intense exhibit,’ says Brian. ‘People were literally breaking down and crying.’
‘Really? Wow, it must have been incredible,’ I say.
‘It was,’ says Brian. ‘Although the smell from the camel dung was quite intense, which maybe explained some of the tears.’
‘It stung my eyes,’ says Mum.
‘Well, it’s not illegal, Mum. It was just a gift from a nice old man, and I already know what I am going to spend the money on.’
‘Yeah, what’s that, love?’ says Brian.
‘On a flight to London to meet Ben,’ I say, and Mum looks horrified. She grabs Brian by the hand. He looks worried too, or perhaps in pain because Mum is squeezing his hand so tightly.
‘You’re going to use the twenty thousand you got from a dead old fella to flee the country?’ says Mum. ‘To meet some bloke you met online, who could be a murderer for all we know, and you think this is okay, Saskia? What has happened to you? I thought you had turned a corner with Brad, but instead you’ve gone backwards!’
‘I’m not going backwards, Mum. I think Ben might be the love of my life.’
‘But you don’t know him. You’ve only spoken online. What if he’s a murderer? Or a rapist? Or both? A murderer rapist!’
‘He’s an asset manager, Mum. From Clapham!’
‘So he says.’
‘He’s on the company’s website. I’ve seen around his flat, spoken with his flatmate. Checked his LinkedIn page. He’s legit.’
‘Doesn’t mean he’s not a psycho, love,’ says Mum, with the same look of disappointment in her eyes. ‘Some of the worst ones had normal lives. We watched one on TV the other week, didn’t we, Brian? A true crime show about a serial killer in America. He was a husband, a father, went to church every Sunday, and he murdered fourteen people! Two of them with a shovel!’
‘Ben isn’t a murderer, Mum!’
‘What’s wrong with Brad? He seems lovely, has his own flat, a chiropractic practice and he’s not a killer. Although with those biceps it wouldn’t be hard.’
‘Susan, love, I think you need to give Saskia some credit,’ says Brian suddenly, before he looks at me with a warm smile. ‘She’s a grown woman, and if she thinks Ben isThe One, then who are we to stand in her way, eh?’
‘Thanks, Brian,’ I reply. ‘And Mum, honestly, if I think, even for a second, that Ben is going to murder or rape me, I’ll be on the first plane back to Sydney.’
‘You promise me? First plane? Murder or rape?’
‘Yes, Mum. Promise.’
‘Right,’ says Brian, standing up. ‘I don’t know about you, Susan, but I need to take a shower. I can still smell the camel dung.’
‘It is potent,’ I say because it’s making my eyes water.
Mum and Brian take showers to wash away the smell of camel dung that is lingering, while I have something to do myself. I have to break up with Brad.
It came to me after the gig when I was sitting with Lou. I like Brad, and obviously he’s ridiculously hot, but I just don’t have ‘the feelings’ with him. I wish we did because it would be a lot easier than flying across the world to meet Ben. Brad has the perfect life in Bondi, and it would be so easy to slip into that, but you can’t feel something that just isn’t there. Brad and I arefine, but I think I am too old to be settling for fine. Brad was the boyfriend I could have had at twenty-five, when all I wanted was a bit of fun, but that just isn’t me anymore. I want a big love story like Daphne was to Lou or like Jess and Aaron. I want to be with someone who makes me feel all the things they feel – the big, overwhelming, can’t get you out of my head, love.
After I have a shower, get changed, and say goodbye to Mum and Brian, who are both finally camel dung free, I leave the house. I walk to Broadway Shopping Centre, and then I jump on a bus to Bondi, which takes about fifty minutes. It isn’t the shortest journey, but it gives me time to think about what I might say to Brad. We have only been dating for the shortest amount of time, so I don’t think he is going to be heartbroken, but I want to be sensitive. I know Jess thinks the worst of Brad – the devil dressed up as a gorgeous chiropractor – but I have seen a different side to him since we started dating. There’s a softer, more caring side to Brad I wish Jess could see too.
I eventually get off the bus and walk the short walk to Brad’s flat. I didn’t message him that I was coming, and now I am here, I’m worried he might not even be home. I was just so desperate to get it over with so I could move on and start looking into flights to London. I’m almost at his flat when I stop because I see someone leaving his building. It’s a young woman in just a bikini. She’s pretty with a great body, probably no more than twenty-three, and then from behind her I see Brad appear. He just has a towel wrapped around his waist, and he leans in, kisses her, before she leaves and then Brad walks back inside his building. I can’t fucking believe it! Brad is cheating on me! Just like Jess said he would. The two-timing snake! I feel like such an idiot. I defended Brad to Jess, and as it turns out, she was right the whole time!
