Page 75 of Wish You Were Here
‘I, umm—’
‘Don’t just stand there, come in. I’ll pop the kettle on,’ says Jemma’s mum, Helen, and before I have the chance to reply I am being whisked inside, the kettle is on, Helen is fetching the cake she made yesterday, and we are going to have a proper catch-up. This is exactly what I didn’t want to happen, but it’s happening and there is nothing I can do about it other than smile politely and eat Helen’s cake.
Gordon and Helen’s house is gorgeous. It’s warm, homely and exactly the sort of house I could see myself living in oneday. It’s full of photos of Jemma and her brother, and lots of paintings because Helen is an artist and does the most incredible oil paintings. Gordon is an English lecturer at the university, so they also have a large library of books in the second reception room. They are a lovely couple, and I hate the fact I am there to break their daughter’s heart, when I could have been joining their perfect little family instead.
‘So, Jem tells us you’re back together,’ says Helen, making the tea, while Gordon is taking care of the cake. ‘That’s quite a story.’
‘Yes, I suppose it is,’ I reply.
‘We just bumped into each other in the middle of London!’ says Jemma.
‘What are the chances?’ says Gordon.
‘That’s exactly what I said,’ says Jemma.
‘I think it’s lovely,’ says Helen. ‘Right, sit down, Ben, and you can tell us all about what’s been happening with you since the last time we saw you. What has it been, seven, eight years?’
‘Nine, actually,’ says Jemma.
‘Nine years! I can’t believe it,’ says Helen.
‘It doesn’t feel like nine years,’ says Gordon. ‘Has it really been nine years?’
‘It has,’ says Jemma. ‘Nine years.’
You can almost feel the warmth and the togetherness in the room. Jemma genuinely loves spending time with her family, and I can see why – they’re like three peas in a pod. After a minute, Helen puts a mug of tea down in front of me, and Gordon serves a traditional rich fruitcake. They want the story of my life, while all I want to do is have a conversation with Jemma in private about why I need to end our relationship.
‘Jem says you’re an asset manager,’ says Gordon.
‘That’s right,’ I reply, taking a sip of my tea. ‘Private equities, mainly property investments, that sort of thing.’
‘Very swish,’ says Helen. ‘I don’t understand anything like that, do I, Gordon? I’m completely useless when it comes to money or the stock market. Put me in a room with a canvas and a paintbrush and I’m as happy as Larry, but high finance, no thank you.’
‘I feel the same about fine art,’ I say, and Helen giggles before she offers me a selection of biscuits even though I haven’t yet finished my cake.
Fortunately, after thirty minutes of being grilled about my life, my future plans – tricky – and if I am staying the night, Jemma says she’s going to show me her new room, and finally we’re going to get some time alone. We walk up the stairs and into Jemma’s new bedroom. They added a loft extension a few years ago, so her parents have a whole floor with an ensuite, and Jemma has the larger of the two guest bedrooms, which was her parents’ old bedroom at the front of the house. It’s been beautifully decorated in neutral colours with a few of Helen’s paintings on the wall. When we walk in, Jemma sits down on the bed, and I sit next to her. The bed is particularly comfy, and the duvet is floral with a few decorative pillows. Everything about Jemma’s parents’ house is just like Jemma – it’s all so wonderfully perfect, and my brain is desperately trying to tell me not to mess this up. I could have everything I ever wanted with Jemma.
‘What are you really doing here?’ says Jemma after a moment. ‘I know you didn’t come all this way just to get questioned by my parents, and to be honest, I didn’t believe the work story.’
‘No, you’re right. I did come for a reason,’ I say, looking at Jemma, and I feel wretched. I care for her so much, and I don’t want to hurt her.
‘You’re breaking up with me, aren’t you?’ says Jemma suddenly, catching me off-guard.
‘Jem, I’m sorry. I like you so much, and being together again has been great, but I just don’t think you areThe One. I don’t want to mess you around and keep going when I don’t think this is it.’
‘You’re doing it again, aren’t you?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘You’re freaking out because it’s getting serious, and you’re deciding to quit now before something goes wrong. Can’t you see, Benji, you do this? You always leave a relationship when it’s good before it gets hard. You love the honeymoon period, but don’t you see that the best bits are yet to come?’
‘Poppy said the same thing.’
‘Then why are you breaking up with me? Maybe you just need to give us some time. I know it’s all happened so fast, but we can slow down a little if that’s what you want.’
I look at her and I have to tell her the actual, this is going to hurt, truth.
‘Because I’m in love with someone else, Jem.’
