Page 83 of Wish You Were Here
‘Yes, but we can’t all fit in my car. Not with Ben and his luggage.’
‘I can drive, too,’ says Abigail.
‘Right, I can bring Hugh, obviously, Will?’ replies Poppy.
‘Sure,’ says Will.
‘I’ll bring Simon and Saskia,’ says Abigail, and with that all the arrangements to get to Heathrow Airport have been made. Ben’s flight arrives at 6:30pm, but he probably won’t get outof arrivals until after seven o’clock. I have already checked the flight status, and it’s on time. I have a flight tracker on my phone, so I can literally see where he is in the world, which is strange. I can watch him getting closer and closer to me.
We all leave the pub, get into our cars, and start the drive to Heathrow along frozen roads. All the fields next to the road are covered with a white frost, and the whole place feels so cold, but inside my body it is alive with heat, love and it feels like I’m going to explode. Although the good news is that the Russian polar vortex is moving on, and it’s supposed to be getting a bit warmer, but with the warmer temperatures it’s also going to get wetter. It feels like a constant trap here, but everyone seems okay with it. It’s either fucking freezing or slightly warmer and wet. Apparently, according to Abigail, now and then in winter, you’ll get a gloriously perfect day when the sun comes out, and everyone is happy. All I could think when she said that was, just one day? In Sydney, even in the depths of winter, we get plenty of warm, sunny days, and obviously in summer it’s pretty much hot all the time.
It has got me thinking about what Ben and I are going to do because if we want to be together, we can’t exactly have a long-distance relationship, can we? Either Ben moves to Australia, or I move to London, and with Ben having a successful career in London, and me not up too much in Sydney, it makes me think that the most logical conclusion is that I move here. But having been here for just a few days, I am already wondering if I can do it. Can I deal with this awful weather? I know it’s winter, probably the worst time to come, and I’m sure once spring arrives and then summer, it’s a completely different place. I know a lot of Aussies live in London, so if they can all manage it, then surely, I can too, right? But I also love Sydney. It’s my home. The weather is great, the beaches are beautiful, and I have all my family and friends. Can I just leave, knowing how far awayI’ll be living? It’s a terrifying thought, but also, I want to be with Ben. At least, I do right now. I am also worried about what if we meet, spend a few days together, and it isn’t quite the dream it is in my head? What if he has some annoying habits, the sexual chemistry just isn’t there, or what if he pronounces it expresso instead of espresso? I know it’s just a minor thing, but how annoying is that?
‘How are you feeling?’ says Simon, turning around to talk to me in the back of the car. Abigail is driving an old Volkswagen Golf that seems to be on its last legs.
‘Nervous.’
‘I bet. Although Ben is awesome.’
‘Yeah, he is.’
‘Have you thought about the first thing you’re going to say to him?’ asks Abigail.
‘Other than why the fuck didn’t you tell me you were coming?’ chips in Simon.
‘To be fair, I didn’t tell him I was coming either. I guess we both enjoy surprises!’
‘I don’t know about that,’ says Simon. ‘Ben is usually a play it safe, go with the odds kind of bloke.’
‘You’re the first girl who has made him do something crazy and spontaneous,’ says Abigail.
‘I guess that’s a good sign, right?’ I say. ‘Although it ended up with him flying across the world and back within a week, so maybe he’ll think twice about being so spontaneous again.’
‘Or maybe it means it’s true love!’ says Abigail.
‘I hope so,’ I reply. ‘And in answer to your question, I have thought about it, but I literally have no idea what my first words will be.’
Abigail keeps driving on towards Heathrow Airport. The traffic is moving slowly, which is probably because of the weather, and I am trying to keep myself together because this isa big moment. What will our first words be? Will we kiss right away? Will it be awkward? What if he’s one of those blokes who uses far too much tongue? I have no idea what to expect, but I’m also excited to see him, intrigued about what it’s going to be like to just hold him in my arms, and what will happen tonight? Will we sleep together on the first night? The words of the Scottish lady on the plane come back to me.Make him wait. Make him long for you because it’s the longing, dear, the sweet taste of desire that keeps them wanting more and more.The thing is that this has never been who I am. I don’t mind jumping into bed on the first date, but this has generally always been my problem too. It’s probably why I’m still single at thirty and my list of ex-boyfriends reads like a who’s who of dating disasters. I am spontaneous and often make terrible choices after a few drinks, but I am trying to be better. I’m thirty now, and as Mum keeps reminding me, it’s time to grow up. Maybe I need to take things slowly with Ben, lay the foundations of our relationship before we start experimenting with sexual positions, but then again, it feels like we have already waited so long for this.
We get to the airport, park, and everyone gets out and we start walking towards arrivals. In the end, they decided against making a sign because despite the humorous possibilities, it was more work than anyone wanted to do. We get to arrivals, and Hugh immediately wanders off, while I go with Abigail, and we get a coffee. After the pub, I feel like I need a little pick me up. Not that adrenalin isn’t already running around my body because it is, but honestly despite being here for five days, I am still feeling the jetlag. I haven’t been sleeping well, and I am waking up at odd hours of the day and night in Ben’s bed. We get a coffee and then we congregate around arrivals. After a minute, Hugh comes walking across with a smile on his face, holding a bag of sweets.
‘What’s that?’ asks Poppy.
‘A bag of Percy Pigs. I thought Ben might have been missing home, and what else says England better than a bag of Percy Pigs!’
‘He’s been gone for less than a week!’ says Will.
‘But still, it’s Percy Pigs!’ says Hugh, and I have no idea what Percy Pigs are and why they’re clearly so important to Hugh, but he’s excited about it.
I look up at the arrivals board, and his flight is due to land any minute. Ben will soon be back on British soil, and I am starting to feel really nervous. It’s crazy to think that over the past week, Ben has flown all the way to Australia and back again, but at least he got to see a little bit of Sydney while he was there. He sent me a bunch of photos of him and Brian – who took a day and showed Ben all around Sydney, which was so kind of him. He sent me photos of himself at the Opera House, under the Harbour Bridge, at Bondi Beach and eating a meat pie at Harry’s Cafe de Wheels in Woolloomooloo. He met Jess and Aaron at a pub in the Rocks, and Jess messaged me and gave her approval. It was insane to see photos of Ben in Sydney without me, and it makes me long for the day when I can show him around myself.
Ben’s plane has landed, and the excitement is building. People slowly start walking out, and we’re all trying to spot Ben. I can’t speak though because I feel like one tiny thing will push me over the emotional edge. My whole body feels alive, my heart is racing, and my palms are clammy. I’m waiting, watching and then I see him. My heart immediately falls into my stomach, and I feel sick, and then it rises up and overwhelms me with excitement. I have no idea what I am going to do. I have no idea what he is going to do. I have seen him, but he hasn’t yet seen me. Fortunately, I don’t have to wait long. He’s walking, pulling his suitcase behind him, and his eyes fall on me.
‘It’s Ben!’ says Abigail.
‘Ben!’ screams Poppy.
‘This is so exciting!’ says Hugh. ‘I feel like I am literally in a film!’
