Page 145 of Pride: The Rogue
“I want to l-leave,” Livian whispered, her voice breaking.
Before the request even left Livian’s lips, the duchess put up a protest. “Please, don’t, Miss Lovelace.”
“I must, Your Grace.” For self-preservation. Livian’s shattered heart and tattered pride couldn’t take any more of a beating.
“You muststay. There are so many good gentlemen, present. Honorable ones who would make you a decent match, and more importantly, among them, one whom you might find yourself falling in—”
“I must insist,” Livian cut in with a stern incisiveness that managed to penetrate the powerful peeress’s adamant pressuring.
“My father was a letch of the worst sort,” the duchess whispered. “You have my most solemn vow I am not one to tolerate those vile fiends. Therefore,” she dropped her voice to nearly inaudible tones, “if this is about the viscount, I’ve already sent him packing. I’ve ensured his silence in a way that he’d never dare speak about anything that happened…or…”
Livian saved the woman from having to say anything more. “Thank you, Your Grace.” In an unexpected reversal of roles, the duchess found herself struggling for words the same way Livian had throughout their entire, painful exchange. “I am grateful to you for opening your home to me and attempting to help me find a husband. I have not been as gracious to you in the ways you deserv—”
“No,” the duchess interrupted. “Please, none of that. As I said, I hold no delusions that mine and Mr. Latimer’s arrangement is any sort of love match.”
There appeared another fissure in some chunk of her heart that hadn’t completely cracked.
“Please, will you see my carriage readied, Your G-Grace?”
The duchess’ high, noble, brow furrowed. “There is absolutely nothing I can say, Miss Lovelace?”
Livian rejoined with a gentle question. “Given you shared that, at some point in time, you found yourself precisely where I am now, I’d ask…wouldyoustay?”
At last, Livian managed to break through.
“I understand, Miss Lovelace. Before visiting you, I spoke with Lord Wakefield. He was adamant you leave my house party and insisted on accompanying you. I explained I’d speak with you and let the decision belong to you and not some well-meaning gentleman who comes in to save the proverbial day.”
Lachlan. It’d been Lachlan who’d saved her and—
Oh, God.
“Thank you, Your Grace. Please convey to Lord Wakefield, I would be grateful for that.”
The duchess hesitated. She passed her gaze over Livian and appeared to consider something else she wished to say.
Lord, help me. I will never survive this.The pain of never again seeing him threatened to swallow her whole. But the day he married the duchess, Livian would die inside and never, ever recover.
Livian managed to smile, desperate for the other woman to leave.
She sank into a deep curtsy. “I should begin packing, Your Grace.” Livian needed her gone so then, she could be free to break down and sob herself into nothingness.
Then wonder of small wonders this day, the Lord took mercy on her. For, Her Grace, nodded.
After the duchess departed, closing the door with a faintclick,Livian stared at the oak panel. This one ornate and painted pink and carved of flowers, but also just a door, and in that, it brought Livian full circle on this journey. The door that’d openedat The St. George’s Inn and Lachlan sailed through, forever altering Livian’s life, now gave way to the closing of this panel.
It marked the end of what she and Lachlan shared, and the beginning of his future with another woman.
All the life, all the energy, and all the hope and happiness completely left her body. At last, Livian surrendered to the heavyweight of her sorrow.
She sank to her knees, and the dam within her broke. She wept, great big, gasping sobs that shook her body with a force that sent her sagging all the way to the floor. Drawing her knees close to her chest, she cried ugly tears that hurt her all the way through. And she welcomed that pain. Any pain was a distraction from the reality of all she had lost. No, what she’d never known with Lachlan but desperately wanted with him.
Through the noisy sounds of her misery, Livian dimly registered a faint click.
Hope, born of the deepest despair, brought her up quickly and sharply onto her knees.
“Ohh, Livvie,” Billy whispered.
The girl quickly shut the door behind her, and in an instant, Livian found herself enveloped within the younger woman’s arms. Clinging to her friend and sister, Livian wept against her chest.
