Page 154 of Pride: The Rogue
Livian opened her mouth, but Verity put up further resistance. “If that were the case, Livvie, then…then…why did you not tell me? If you had beenhonestwith me, I would have absolutely told you—”
“I needn’t,”suffer through, “have a Season?”
“Exactly!”
“If our roles were reversed, Verity,” she said quietly, “and I wasyourelder, newly and happily married sister, urging you to have a London season, what conclusion would you have reached?”
Verity recoiled. “No,” she whispered. “I…you actually believed—”
“I was under foot?” she supplied. “Iwasunderfoot. I always was. You had a career you loved, and work you needed to see you over the years, and in that time, Bertha was my mother. She was my caregiver.”
“How could you doubt my love?” Verity whispered.
For how Verity’s expression shattered, Livian may as well have struck her in the face.
“I would do anything for you, Livvie. Absolutely any—”
Livian gave her sister’s hands another, firmer squeeze. “I know you love me. I know you would lay down your life for me, but I don’t want you to continue to sacrifice for me. If I let you, you’d have me about untilyourbabes are old and grey.” She ran her gaze over Verity’s ravaged features. “But, Verity, you always put me first. It’s time you are able to live without worrying after me.”
Verity took that in with a lengthy silence.
“We were never really innocent, though,” Livian said quietly. “You were the older sister, but we were both born to the same circumstances. We were and are, bastard daughters to a nobleman who turned out to be a bigamist and who never deserved our mother’s heart.”
Livian and Verity looked at one another. And in an instant, no, in that instant, they were more than sisters.
They were two women united over a shared past.
With a long sigh, she dropped her head sideways and rested it against the thick lead windowpane.
A sad smile played about Verity’s lips. “And here I saw you as the romantic one. You were the whimsical one. I feared if I didn’t guard you closely, you’d suffer a painful fate like Mother.”
Verity’s gaze grew more inward, more introspective.
“When, in actuality, you saw far more than I ever did. You knew more about Mother and the earl.” A slow, anguished understanding emanated from Verity’s revealing eyes. “Perhaps all along, in doing so, I sought to protect myself from all those truths.”
There was noperhapsabout it. That’s precisely what her sister had done. Undoubtedly, there had also been a large part of Verity needing to feel some sense of control in their out-of-control existence.
Livian moved closer to Verity. She wrapped an arm around her big sister’s shoulders and drew her in.
“I am so—”
“Do not even say it,” Livian cut her off. “You have absolutely no reason to apologize to me. When our mother died, you were given an impossible task. You were forced to grow up. Another sibling, any other sibling, would have been resentful. You cared for me and loved me like the older sister and mother webothneeded.”
Verity edged away and looked at Livian.
“I am here now, Livvie,” her sister said earnestly. “I finally see you. I hear you. I’m listening now. Please, tell me the reason for this infinite sadness you’ve carried around since your arrival.”
Livian scrubbed her hands up and down her face. This is precisely why she hadn’t wished to come. She’d known the minute she arrived she’d not be able to conceal the all-consuming misery that engulfed her since she left Lachlan.
Her sister rested her palms upon Livian’s hands, and with an infinite tenderness, Verity drew them away from Livian’s face and guided them down to her lap.
“You called me out—and rightly so—for failing to treat you as an equal and friend,” Verity said pragmatically. “If you wish for that relationship, then you need to see me as an actual friend. Friends and sisters, do not see the other as a burden.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to tell you,” Livian struggled around her thick throat.
It’s that she didn’t know how to speak about Lachlan without falling apart.
Her sister gently persisted. “I won’t attempt to fix anything you need fixed.” Verity paused and flashed a teasing smile. “That is…unless you ask me.”
