Page 44 of Not Quite a Lady
‘If there had been anything personal, of course I would not have read it.’
She still did not understand what he was angry about: he could see the bafflement on her face.
‘Lily, I realise that I am so poor that you do not consider it of any more account than you would scrutinising your servants’ wages, but I do not relish having my personal finances investigated and the results discussed with a number of persons unknown to me.’
‘Oh you are so wretchedly starched-up about this,’ she flared at him, not at all repentant. ‘Why can’t you ask my trustees for money when you will happily advertise to all and sundry in the newspapers?’
‘It is risky. It is not an investment for a woman.’
‘But you do not need much, it is a trifle as far as I am concerned. I could lose it all and it would not matter.’
He tried again. ‘It would matter to me, and it is not a trifle for me.’
Somehow he had to get her out of his room before the feelings that were battering at him won and he did what he was aching to do and took her in his arms, kissed her until she could only whimper and tell her that he could not take her money because he loved her. How could he make her understand?
‘Lily, this is futile. Even if I would borrow money from you, your trustees will not allow it, so there is nothing more to be said.’ He half turned away from her as he added quietly, ‘Not that this is about money.’
Lily stared at him, baffled, hurt and wounded that Jack was angry with her for trying to help him, glimpsing through the fog of anger that was swirling about them that she had badly misjudged his reactions. But whatwasit about, if it was not about money?
‘Jack–’ she held out a hand and he moved abruptly. ‘Please do not do that. Please do not hate me.’
‘Hate you?’ He took two jerky strides then, fetching up with one hand on the mantle shelf, his back to her. ‘I do not hate you.’
‘Good,’ she said shakily, looking at the figure in front of her, wondering how she could ever have thought any other man handsome, how she could ever have contemplated living with anyone less intelligent, less virile, less interesting.
‘Lily, I do not think we speak the same language. SometimesI do not think we even inhabit the same country. We do not understand each other and I think we are hurting each other as a result. I am leaving London tomorrow.’
What does he mean?Lily shook her head in frustration.Of course we speak the same language. It is just pride, that is all. But Adrian Randall, a man with a barony, a man consumed with pride in his name and his status, he had had no qualms about marrying me. Marriage? Was that it?
‘Jack.’ She stepped forward and put her hand on his arm. It was rigid. ‘Jack…’
‘Lily, please go away.’
‘No. I think I see. You need to be master, I understand that. You need to be in control of…of everything. Well, marry me then, and you will control one third of my fortune.’
‘Marry you?’ He turned then and Lily took a step backwards, suddenly afraid of what she had done. ‘You want to marry a title, do you not?’
‘I am sure you will have one,’ she stammered, too aghast at the anger in Jack’s eyes to think what she was saying. ‘You will be a great man, I know it. I can see it all, the mine will be a success, you will stand for Parliament, build steam railways…’
‘And be knighted?’ he enquired, his voice so chill she shivered. ‘But that will not do, will it, Lily? If I recall, nothing less than a baron will do for you. Still, I hear say that Prinny is in need of funds, perhaps you can buy me a title.
‘And what do I have to do in return? Provide one little coalmine for you to play with? Oh yes, and father your children. And pleasure you in bed,Lady Lovell? That, at last, will not be a hardship.’
Recalling her daydream, Lily felt her face burn with shame.Lady Lovell.Jack was so angry. Could she tell him she loved him, that he did not understand?
‘Is this what you want for your money, Miss France?’ Hishand on her wrist was like iron, but Lily did not try to resist as Jack pulled her into his arms.
‘Yes,’ was all she could manage before his mouth crushed down on hers.
Not money, just love, Jack please understand, just love…
He had aroused and pleasured her before, now, angry and demanding, he excited her almost beyond bearing. Lily strained against the hard body, revelling in the sensation, ready to match him wherever he took her.
She was not afraid of him, despite the anger she could almost taste. If she saidNo, she knew he would leave her.
Everything she said was wrong, she could not find the words to reach him or the understanding to comprehend him, but in this thing at least, despite her ignorance and her innocence, they could communicate.
Jack had kissed her before, gently exploring and arousing. Now he was claiming and taking, his tongue invading in a way which flooded her with an almost unbearable longing. The room seemed to be moving, then she realised he had lifted her, shouldered aside the screen across the bed and laid her down.
