Page 29 of The Lady Who Said No to the Duke
Hal ignored the strange ache in his chest.He was here to apologise, not dwell on his own feelings.‘And I am sorry for not finding a way to explain it all—to confess, if you like—before we left.’
‘I assume Godmama advised you not to.’
She had, of course, and he had allowed himself to be swayed by her arguments.‘I am not going to blame her for what I can now see was my error of judgement.’
‘Gallant of you, but I imagine she was very happily matchmaking.Do you know, she cautioned me, very seriously, about the dangers of developing atendrefor you.That was clever, putting the idea into my mind, sowing the seed.There is nothing like having something forbidden, advised against, for making one start thinking seriously about it.’
Hal winced.He hadn’t known about that and there was no safe way to comment on Lady Holme’s tactics, so he stuck to why he had kept his silence.‘It would have been exceedingly awkward to travel back together if you had known.’
Thea took a deep breath.‘I am trying to be fair, and it is not easy, believe me.I can see that it would have been difficult to interrupt me at tea that first afternoon.I was tired and emotional and I should not have poured out all that, I should not have spoken to a stranger about the Duke—about you—in such terms.That was my fault.And once I had said all that, I can appreciate that it was awkward to explain who you were.If you had announced who you were at that point I… I do not know what I would have done.’
Hal felt the stirrings of hope.Was Thea going to forgivewhat he now saw was a colossal error of judgement by himself and their godmother?
‘But youcouldhave done it,’ she said, drowning that flicker of optimism.‘You could have done it the very next day.It would have been embarrassing, but we could have had a frank conversation and agreed how we were going to deal with the situation.I am finding it very hard to understand why you did not do that.’
Because I was attracted to you, was the honest answer, he realised.
He had enjoyed her spirit and her anger, he had come to sympathise and see very clearly where he had been at fault—and he had not wanted to spoil the growing friendship he could feel developing between them even after so short a time.He had seen that it would be no hardship whatsoever to marry this woman.
‘I knew that if I came here as myself then it would be a surprise—’
Thea gave a very unladylike snort.
Hal ploughed on.‘A shock then, but I hoped that our friendship would carry us through it.That we could have that conversation I had suggested to you and we could agree to take this slowly.I could court you and you would see…come to see that our marriage would be for the best for both of us.’
Even as he spoke, he could tell that he had made things worse, not better.
‘Courtme?A few bunches of flowers, your escort to the theatre, a drive or two in the park, I suppose.No doubt that would allow me to experience the sensation of my parents being pleased with me for doing my duty.In fact, it would give me the opportunity tosee sense.That was what you almost said, wasn’t it?’
Thea was on her feet pacing now and, even as he felt the lash of her anger, Hal could admire her for holding firm to what she felt was right for her.
He was not going to lie to her, not any more.‘Yes, I almost said that, but I realised it was…inappropriate.’
She stopped, stock-still in the middle of the room.‘It would be very easy to say, Yes.But that only makes things easy for the immediate future.’It sounded as though she was talking to herself, speaking her thoughts aloud.Then she turned and there was no doubt she was addressing him now.‘I have the rest of my life to consider—and so do you.
‘Do you know, I almost wished that you—plain Mr Hal Forrest with no title and rather old clothes, a shabby carriage and apparently not much in the way of an estate—were just a little more eligible.Nothing fancy, you understand.A viscount perhaps, or heir to something.Then I could imagine our friendship growing and you being someone that Papa might reluctantly accept for me once I had refused the Duke.’
‘But, Thea, I am that person.Even to the clothes and the coach—I prefer to be comfortable when I’m travelling, and my decent carriage broke an axle in Northumberland.’
‘No, you are not that man.The clothes and the carriage are mere details.You are the man who deceived me, who manipulated me, who made me believe he was my friend.The man who did not have the…thegutsto explain the situation to me and trust me to discuss it in a rational manner.
‘You set a trap for me, Your Grace, and I am not going to put my neck in the snare.’
Something very uncomfortable was happening in the region of his breastbone, and the urge to bluster and protest and explain was an almost physical force.Hal choked it back down.
‘In that case,’ he said as calmly as he could manage, ‘I can see there is only one thing to do.We must—’
‘We mustnothing,’ Thea began as the door swung open and her parents entered, both of them beaming.
‘Now,’ said the Earl, looking exceedingly pleased with life.‘What have you to say to me, Duke?’
‘That Lady Thea and I have come to an understanding,’ Hal said, ignoring the gasp from just behind him.‘We have concluded that we would not suit and that both of us should now consider ourselves free of any obligation.’
There was another sound at his back that he sincerely hoped was Thea sitting down with a bump on the sofa and not fainting again.
‘I hope I need not say that I hold Lady Thea in the highest estimation and that not a word of this conversation, or of my visit here today, will ever be spoken of by me outside these walls.’
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