Page 92 of Our Broken Pieces
“And just because she was with that douchebag doesn’t mean you didn’t see something in her. How far has this gone?” Linc wipes his mouth.
“I’m not going to answer that.”
Jax face winces. “Shit, you two really are sleeping together?”
“Happened in Orlando.” I look at the ceiling. “She was Cinderella, and she was so beautiful. I lost what little control I had.”
Linc raises his hand. “Keep your role playing to yourself, please.”
Jax laughs. “Alright, so you’ve fallen for her, and the sex is good, I assume. So, now, you need to make this all real.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“It can be if you let it. And I refuse to sit back and watch you lead her on or deny yourself a relationship that could make you happy,” Linc states, as if it’s obvious.
“What if this all goes south and I lose her?”
Linc pushes his empty plate away. “Marcus, I lost so much time with Mel because I held on to that fear. Don’t make the same mistake I did.”
“Linc is right. What would be worse? She doesn’t feel the same way and you take some time to repair your friendship or you regret not taking that leap for the rest of your life?”
I sigh. “She deserves the world. I’m not sure I deserve her.”
Linc’s eyes concentrate on mine. “Marcus, you’re one of the best men I know. You deserve the love of a good woman. You deserve to be happy, just like everyone else.”
I look down at my plate.
“I think you would actually be doing Gigi a disservice if you didn’t make this real. She’s perfect for you, and you’re perfect for her. At least try. Tell her how you feel. If not for yourself, then for her.” Jax hands the waitress his card as she clears our plates.
“Maybe you’re right.”
“I know I am.” He smiles.
I got home a little after 2 a.m., stopping in the kitchen for a glass of water and some ibuprofen. After the night I’ve had, both my hand and my brain hurt. I lean against the counter, taking a moment to think about my actions. Even though he deserved it, I hate that I lost my composure with Lewis. As soon as my fist made contact with his nose, flashes of my father yelling polluted my brain. The memories of him bruising my arm when he grabbed me after I broke a neighbor’s car window with a baseball that I overthrew lived vividly in my mind for the first time in years. I’ve learned to repress those memories, or I would go insane working alongside him every day.
Tonight, I was no better than he was in those days. I used physical violence to solve a situation. But I couldn’t control my actions when I saw his hand on her. When I saw the anger and fear in her eyes. I only wanted to protect her, but now I feel sick with shame and embarrassment.
I finish my water, walk up the stairs to my room to find Gigi asleep in my bed. Our bed. I undress down to my briefs and slide under the covers, pulling her to me. Her eyes flutter.
“You’re home.”
“Yeah.” I kiss her neck. “I’m really sorry I lost control tonight, G.”
She wiggles back against me. “Thank you for standing up for me. Even though I’m a little mad you punched him, and I’m sorry you got arrested, it really meant a lot.”
“I’ll always protect you, princess. I’m just sorry I chose to do it the way I did.”
“It’s okay.” Her voice is barely above a whisper.
“I think I’m going to call my insurance tomorrow to find a therapist.”
Gigi shifts and rolls over to face me. “Why?”
“I don’t like myself right now.”
“For what happened tonight, or in general?”
“For what happened.” I roll to my back.
