Page 72 of Whispers of Helena
Silas tells me I’m doing just fine. That he’s proud of me, that he loves me. I just wish I could believe those words.
I thank God for you, Silas. You are my comfort, my joy, my everything. My world turns because of your love and understanding.
Her words settlein my chest like a stone. I open my eyes, staring at the sky, wondering if she ever truly knew I felt the same.
She was the sun. She was the moon. She was my refuge. And thinking back, I know I didn’t tell her that enough.
I force out a breath, frustrated with myself. I rise from the ground and guide Shadow to the water. I splash my face, ready to head back home.
“Pa!”
Kiran's voice rings through the yard as he sprints toward me. I swing down from the saddle just in time to catch him, pulling him into a tight embrace.
“You’re crushing me!” He laughs, squirming against my hold.
I loosen my grip but keep him close. “Just love you, son.”
“Love you too.” He grins. “Eli made me breakfast. I forgot how bad of a cook he is.”
I chuckle, ruffling his hair. “Sorry I wasn’t here this morning. Had to check some fences.”
“That’s okay.” He shrugs, then glances past me, curiosity flickering in his eyes. “Did Ms. Helena go with you?”
My stomach tightens. “No. Why?”
“She isn’t here. Didn’t answer her door. Didn’t have her coffee.”
Lowering him to the ground, I nod toward the bunkhouse. “Go find Marcel. I need to talk to Eli.”
“Yes, sir!” He takes off, kicking up dust and scattering stones in his wake.
I lead Shadow into the stables, working on autopilot as I uncinch the saddle and refill his feed and water. The barn is quiet, the men already out in the pastures. The silence gnaws at me. Once everything is settled, I head for the house, my boots heavy against the wooden steps.
The kitchen is empty. No aroma of coffee in the air, no dishes drying from breakfast. No trace of her.
I find Eli in the office, hunched over the desk, pen moving across the ledger.
“Where is she?”
He doesn’t look up, just pauses, pen hovering over the paper. “You said she was to be gone by dawn. Well, you got your wish.”
His words unexpectedly hit like a kick to the gut. “She left?”
Eli resumes writing. “Didn’t need to be here when you got back.”
“She didn’t even say goodbye to Kiran? He asked after her.”
The pen scratches across the page, he doesn’t so much as flinch. “You told me to keep him in his room.”
“Damn it, Eli!”
The pen clatters to the desk as he stands, pushing his chair back with force. “We all did as instructed. You got your way. Now everything can go back to how it was before. Nothing lost, nothing gained.”
My jaw tightens. “You know damn well nothing will ever be the same.”
Eli snaps his fingers. “Oh, that’s right. You’re a knowing member of the undead now. Bases covered.” He rounds the desk, eyes burning. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, there’s work to do. Life goes on, after all.”
Something inside me snaps. My hand finds the nearest glass, hurling it against the wall. The shatter echoes through the room, severing the last fraying thread of my composure.
