Page 28 of The Butterfly Effect
On the other side of the door was Sandra, standing there with her hand up as if she was about to knock. She must have seen the tense looks on our faces because she stumbled when she started to speak. “I-I was, uh… I was just coming in to let you know that we received the signed contract from Great Lakes Brewing.” Julianna cringed noticeably, catching Sandra’s attention. “If I were a betting lady, I’d put money on you having slept with him to close that one.”
Julianna huffed and wordlessly stormed out of the office. Yanking her purse from the side of the desk, she stormed towards the stairway exit. She was getting a little too comfortable with shortened work hours lately, but I wouldn’t correct her for it. At least not right now. I turned my glare back to Sandra, who stood there looking pretty proud of herself for getting a rise out of her.
“You need to go.” My voice was cold, a warning that she needed to walk away before I fired her. I was tempted to do so already.
Sandra looked like she considered arguing, but she must have thought better of it when she slowly backed out of my office and made her way back to her own. At least she had learned when it was no longer time to push my buttons, and today I was well past that limit. I let my office door close behind her before I roughly grabbed my phone from my desk and called Julianna.
She ignored the first call, but she answered the second on the third ring. “What do you want, William?”
“I want you to come back to the office.” I said it in a way that dared her to argue with me.
She sighed, and I imagined the way her chest would’ve heaved to make the sound. “No. I think the conversation is finished. I’m taking the rest of the day off.”
“It wasn’t a question, Julianna. I expect you to come back to the office.” She was silent on the other end of the phone, both of us daring the other to speak.
“You expect me to come back or what? What happens if I don’t? Are you going to fire me?” She paused for a moment, and I debated if I would. Part of me wanted to just to show her once and for all that I was the one in charge, but there was no way I was going to do it. Anger flooded through me at the grasp she had on me, and before I could respond, she spoke again. “I didn’t think so. Have a good afternoon.”
The phone disconnected, and I tossed it onto the desk. Knowing where she lived, I considered going after her. Thinking better of it, I sat back in my chair and closed my eyes, pressing my pointer finger and thumb to my eyes to relieve the tension building in my head. Julianna Thomas was going to be the death of me.
Katie knew exactlywhat I needed to forget about the last couple of days, so when she showed up armed with plenty of wine and Andy in tow, I wasted no time grabbing the corkscrew from the drawer. They opened the wine and grabbed glasses from the cabinet, and we all settled on the couches in the living room.
“So, are we going to talk about why you were yelling at William in his office today?” Katie asked, making sure the glass she handed me was plenty full first.
I took a long sip of the wine, savoring the way it left my throat slightly dry when I swallowed. “Do we have to?” I sighed and dropped my head against my hand.
“Jules, it’ll make you feel better to talk about it. You’ve been miserable the last couple of weeks, and it doesn’t take working with you to know that.” Andy rubbed her hand up and down my back.
She was right. “It’s just a lot, you know?” I took a desperate gulp of my wine, reaching for the bottle to top off the not-completely-empty glass. “I just feel like I’m losing it.”
My friends nodded at me, opening another. It wasn’t like me to make a habit of getting drunk on a weeknight, but it was needed a lot recently. Anything to numb the disaster my life had been was appreciated. Tonight, that meant an excess of red wine. Again.
“You’re not losing it. Nailing down that account was stressful. We all felt it. You also had the pressure of William’s undivided attention,” Katie pointed out, tipping her glass at me in a semi-sympathetic gesture. “Him yelling at me once was enough for me.”
I sighed, swirling my glass as the wine made waves against the side. “You should’ve heard Roger’s boss call meyoung ladyin that meeting. It’s not like it’s the first time I’ve been called young lady or sweetheart, but when I’m the one running the meeting, it’s just so demeaning. And not one person in that room called him out for it. Ihavea name!” I drank my wine, stewing over my own words and narrowing my eyes.
It was something I had forced myself to get used to over the years, but the way men in a male-majority company treated the other women and myself didn’t change. I had gotten used to raising my voice to speak over men who interrupted me, ignoring demeaning pet names, and having people assume I’m fucking my way to success. Most days I could get past it, but the last several weeks had been wearing on me. I couldn’t decide whether it was due to Roger being the client’s representative or if it was because the CEO had a close eye on me and all I wanted to do was lick him from head to toe.
Katie refilled my glass when I drained the last drop. I continued as if I hadn’t paused. “Andyou should’ve heard Sandra today accusing me of sleeping with Roger to get the damn contract. As if I would, even if he wasn’t blackmailing me. I didn’t see any of the male PMs being accused or blackmailed on their accounts. Plus, William didn’t say anything to defend me even though he practically dragged me out of Chinos last night, and apparently knows Roger cornered me in the parking garage.Stillnot sure how he figuredthatout.”
Both Andy and Katie looked at me with surprised stares. I hadn’t shared William’s appearance at Chinos the night before. I sat back and told them about how he showed up out of nowhere and threatened Roger before escorting me out of the building, including the way he’d followed me home and made sure I got in the door safely.
“You’re sure he doesn’t like you? You obviously like him…” Andy nudged me. She and Katie both watched me wide-eyed, like they were both suspicious of the same thing.
I glared at her because she was right. The fog from the wine started to get thicker, feeling heavy behind my eyes, and I laid my head on the back of the couch. “Of courseI like him, and I hate myself for it. He’s not the commitment type, and he’s made it clear he doesn’t like me, so I shouldn’t want him. I shouldn’t think about the way his body feels against mine or the way he smells like cinnamon, but it consumes me and I… could see myself falling for him, even though he’s an asshole.”
I let out a small sob, and warm tears slowly flooded from my eyes, likely painting thin wet lines in my makeup. I picked up my glass and finished the last of my wine in one large swallow before setting the glass back on the table. My friends took turns trying to comfort me, but I didn’t really grasp anything they were saying. My thoughts kept going back to William and the way he yelled at me in his office. The way I’d never really be good enough for a man like that. Ever thinking I might be able to hold the upper hand with him was my first mistake.
My eyelids were heavy, weighted down by the wine and the flood of emotions. I sat up, and when the room spun slightly, I paused before I stood up and made my way to the medicine cabinet to grab painkillers. Drinking a glass of water, I took the pills and chased them with a few deep breaths.
My friends gathered their things and made their way to the door, both carrying slight blushes and looks of satisfaction on their faces. They had done what they’d come here to do—loosen me up.
When the door closed behind them, I hurried to my room and crawled into my bed. My phone sat on the nightstand next to me, and I was tempted to send a text to William. Remembering the last time I had sent him a drunk text, I thought better of it. Instead, I covered my head with the pillow, already dreading my alarm going off in the morning.
Julianna leaned against her hand,her elbow on her desk, and sipped the coffee she’d walked in late with. She was dressed more casually than normal, wearing a loose-fitted, knee-length black dress. I couldn’t deny she still looked beautiful, even if I wanted to. The way she’d acted yesterday was inappropriate, running out of the office and talking back like that. My frustration with the woman outweighed my sexual attraction to her, yet I wanted to fold her over my desk and take it out on her until she begged me to stop.
Katie sat across from her, not looking any more alert, and I imagined the two of them were up late. She said something to Julianna with what looked like a waving gesture towards my office. I smirked. I ventured to guess part of her disheveled nature today had something to do with me. When I messaged her, her shoulders sagged and a noticeable cringe appeared on her face.No wonder people call me an asshole.
Me:Good morning, Julianna. Come to my office.
