Page 41 of The Butterfly Effect
“Come on, open the door. Just talk to me.”
The unmistakable murmur of reality TV went silent. It was too late to convince me she wasn’t inside, but I could almost tell she was holding her breath. “Julianna, I know you’re in there.” Still no movement from inside.
I knocked against the door again, leaning my shoulder against the frame and letting out a frustrated sigh. Never had I chased after a woman, let alone begged her to open her door and talk to me. She didn’t, though, and she didn’t make a sound. “Please say something.”
I could almost hear her scoff, but she didn’t open the door.
She was easily the most frustrating person I knew, but walking away from her would be like admitting defeat. She was sitting in her apartment, and I could almost see her staring at the door and just waiting for me to walk away. If she would just open the door, we could talk like adults. I could convince her quitting wasn’t the right thing to do, but as stubborn as she was, there was no changing her mind.
Needing to talk to her was more of a comfort and a need to see her thing. She’d quit three days ago and made avoiding me her new full-time job. In the same way, trying to get her to talk to me had become mine. My self-control wavered, and there wasn’t any convincing myself I could just let her go, even if she’d already let go herself.
Once in my car, there was movement in her apartment, and fresh annoyance filled me. I typed on the screen of my phone more forcefully than necessary.
Me:You can’t just keep ignoring me, Julianna.
I was surprised to see the cloud with three dots pop up on my screen almost immediately, and butterflies woke in my stomach at the notion she was finally talking to me.
Julianna:You don’t get to tell me what to do. You’re actually not my boss anymore.
Me:Come on. Don’t you think this is ridiculous?
Julianna:No, William. Whatever game this is, you win. You never have to see me again.
My stomach soured. I’d told her time and time again I didn’t play games, but she was right. We’d played a back-and-forth game for the upper hand since the day we met at Anthony’s. I wouldn’t say I’d won, though. If anything, the woman who has completely invaded my conscious and unconscious thoughts yet refused to speak to me had defeated me.
* * *
When my phone rang on Saturday morning, my nerves stirred, hoping to see her name on my screen.Demetri. “Fuck,” I mumbled to myself before answering. “Hey.”
“That’s all I get? Hey? Good morning to you too, you grumpy fuck.” My brother was as short as always.
I sighed and rubbed my hands down my face. “Sorry, long week. Let me try this again. What’s going on, brother?” I set the phone on the desk, hitting the button to put him on speakerphone before resting my head on my hand.
He laughed into the phone, not blind to my sarcasm. “Dad said you haven’t confirmed your reservation for the gala next weekend. I expect you’re coming.”
“Yes, obviously. I am aware of how important it is, but I guess the RSVP slipped my mind. Assure him I’ll be there.” I imagined walking in with Julianna on my arm. Not only for the looks of shock that would follow us around the event, but because I thought she’d impress the very men my brother and father threw the event for.
I let my finger hover over her name in my contacts list again. It had more than it should over the past few days, but I didn’t call her or reach out. It made me sour, and my mood was a force to be reckoned with. Everyone seemed to avoid me at the office for the rest of the week, even Sandra, who’d been intolerably clingy since the day Julianna quit. It appeared the only person who was willing to look me in the eye was Katie, and the looks she gave me weren’t understanding. They were the glares of a woman whose best friend had been hurt, but I was willing to face her.
“Are you listening to anything I’m saying?” Demetri’s voice pulled me from my thought. He must have been talking for a few minutes.
“Actually, no. I’ve got to let you go. I’ll see you next weekend.” Before he could argue, I hung up the phone and grabbed my keys.
I sped towards Julianna’s apartment. She’d told me I won, but I didn’t want to win. I wanted her, and she needed to learn that, even if I had to yell it at her through the cheap wood door I could easily break down if I wanted to. Her car was there when I pulled up, but when I knocked, she didn’t answer. There was no sound from inside the apartment, but I knocked again.
“Julianna! Open the door! You said I won, but I don’t want to win. Not unless winning means I get you. Just let me in, please!” I would normally be embarrassed by the near desperation in my voice, but truth be told, Iwasdesperate. More desperate than I’d ever been in my life.
I knocked again, knowing she wasn’t going to answer, and rested my head against the door. A click followed by a quiet squeak alerted me to the open door behind me, and when I turned around, I was face-to-face with her neighbor. I realized then that it wasn’t even ten a.m., and here I was banging on the door and yelling in the hallway.
Her neighbor was an older woman, probably in her early sixties, and she stared at me with her ice-blue eyes. White curly hair sat in a messy nest on her head, and she wrapped her robe around her. “She’s not there.”
“Where is she?”
The woman looked at me like she was sizing me up, making sure I wasn’t a stalker of some sort. Finally, she crossed her arms and leaned against the door frame. “She left last night with a suitcase. Said she was going on a trip to clear her head.” The woman shrugged, clearly uninterested in the details.
“Did she tell you where?” A sense of panic rose in me. She was going to clear her head, and she was going to clear it of me.
“No, not that I’d tell you anyway. It’s early, huh? Why don’t you just go home and call her?” She nodded at me like my grandmother did when she’d scorn us, and then she closed the door.
