Page 76 of Love the Way You Lion
Blinking, I groan. “Ugh, I’d almost forgotten about that mess. I guess Rafe will lose his possessive thing now that he and the bird did their thing. Damn. I was looking forward to that.”
“I don’t think that’s possible. He’ll be all over you.”
“Yeah, yeah. We’ve wandered into my neurosis-land. The mercurial fiend always upstages me, and now he might, even with my spouse. That’s smarting when I think about it. “Poor Rafe. He’s stuck with the ugly sister.”
Turning her face away, she shrugs and I’m not sure why, but she murmurs, “He’s so beleaguered with problems: which desirable person to pinch, who wants me more, blah blah blah.”
My brow arches and I consider, as she doesn’t sound like she’s joking, only like she’s trying to “sound like she is. Could she have as much baggage about this as I do? Taurus told me she’s not always as forthcoming in private as she is when she’s in her element, and Ibelieve him now. I don’t know whether I should ask. If she hasn’t told him, she will not tell me.
“Of all the people I expected to have to work to keep away from him, my mate wasn’t one of them.Thatshould be interesting.” I tilt my head. “Hey, what about you, Miss ‘You touch no one’ girl? Aren’t you worried about your husband?”
“Nope,” she replies so quickly that I don’t doubt her for a second.
How does she have such an unshakable faith? Why doesn’t it bother her to think Rafe might take time away from Taurus?
It sounded as if something was bothering her. But she must have shields like nobody’s business because I can’t read an ounce of her emotions, even when I drop mine a bit. I wonder what is hiding behind her walls. I’m never able to pick up so little when I try.
“The lazy one wants to be with you, darling. Don’t worry about that. I mean, if I were to want a few minutes or something, he’d be okay, I think. We’re pretty laid back about that.”
Ah, there’s the problem.
I’ve made her feel as if she’s the one who’s the sore thumb. I don’t know how, because she’s the star of this play, the colorful yet bloody and ruthless foil to the bird’s leading man. Yet somehow, she’s worried that no one will want to spend time with her. She’s not at all worried about sharing with anyone, except that she’ll be unwanted. Is she worried I don’t want her? I don’t know what to do with that. Her wound about female mates must be even deeper than I thought. “You know, you’ve never told me whatyouthink of the snakeskin.”
She smiles, dipping her chin. “I probably like it more than they do.”
Grinning, I give her a squeeze. “How’s the possessive now, since they’re no longer the elephant in the room and we can talk?”
“I still am, but I trust Rafe. I’ve always trusted him, and I’ve always shared with him. If they choose one another, it’s hard to explain to people who aren’t us. We’re so similar in fundamental ways, yet different in the visible ones.” She frowns and stops, looking for words.
“He’s the calm to my roiling sea. We complement and complete one another differently than Taurus and I do. My love for him is not my love for Taurus; his affection for him is not his love for you, and so on. We don’t rank people in order of how much we love them, and we don’t get jealous of others over who spends time with whom. We love the people we love and enjoy every second of our time with them. It’s like savoring every second, then savoring every second with the next person. Our faith and trust in another mean that we never assume the other has a better or deeper relationship with one mate versus the other. We love them unconditionally and give each other space and respect to do that. I’d be a hypocrite if I got upset with him. You know?”
Deli gives me a smile, looking down at us, and shrugs. “I know how much he loves me and that he’d do nothing to hurt me, nor would he do that to anyone he loves. So, it’s all good.”
Interesting.
She doesn’t consider her primary to be in the same league as the people she’s worried about. In fact, it’s almost like she’s not concerned about him taking away time with Taurus at all. I don’t know what those two will decide, but her unshakable faith that it will all be fine is admirable. “I don’t think I was who Taurus was thinking of when he made his declaration, either. You know us being sex partners? Bang buddies? I mean, what the hell are we?”
“Closer the first time, I’d say.”
Again, the unsure language with that, but she was confident a moment ago. “You looked hot too, you know.”
Flushing bright red, she gives me a pleased look. “I was going for subtlety.”
“You’re in liquid latex stripes and that’s it.”
“Who said that’s not subtle for me?” Her expression has turned playful, and I see the shift in her behavior now that she’s showing off what she’s confident about.
“I get you now, kitty. I see you. If it’s about sex and flirting and such, you know where you stand and who you are, so you stand proud. Emotionally, you’re terrified. Christ, Taurus and I have got to sit down and see if we can run through some blogs of the past and hunt down what the hell happened to these two. Whatever it is, it fucked them up enough that they trust only each other. “NowI’m scared,” I say, not even hinting at my concern.
“You haven’t seen half the stuff in my closets. I should keep the binders hidden if you think that’s over the top. Never open the armoire in my bedroom.”
“Christ, not another love to worry about losing to the pack. This is getting redundant,” I sigh, wondering how many people will chase her at this party. She’s the more popular, more in-demand one.
People will be after her like flies on honey.
She ducks her head and murmurs, “Between Taurus and you, I intend to stay occupied and grope free if that’s okay. I mean, unless you don’t want me to—I can stay with Taurus if you’d prefer. That’s fine.”
That look of fear shadows her face for a minute as she tries to back away from what she said. Does she think I don’t want anyone to know about us in public? She’s willing to lurk in theshadows if it makes me more comfortable? I’ve said it before, and I’m going to keep saying it. Fuck Sari and Rhea. Or un-fuck them because I think that would punish them more. “I didn’t mean only at the party,” I say. “When she finds out, this will kill Sari.”
