Page 89 of Love the Way You Lion
“I wish you’d tell me what’s going on behind those sapphire blues, though,” she says, dropping next to me.
“Once you get into the tower, you can hurt me. People inside the tower have hurt me over and over, so I hide. But you’ve gotten in, and it terrifies me.” I flush red, feeling stupid for being so unable to express myself.
Stopping for a moment, I consider whether I should tell her how terrified I am that she is not ready for this and that I will end up broken beyond repair if she calls it off. Can I admit I don’t have faith in her? I want her to be my mate? Can I tell her I have this terror clawing at the pit of my stomach, screaming that she’s going to crack my heart and change the fabric of who I am?
No, I can’t.
I can’t tell her that based on something that could be Maeve having indigestion. I was in Myanmar today, and I ate foreign food. Tasty as hell with a nice little kick, but this could all be a tummy problem, not a cat sense problem.
She grins. “You, too. I?—”
Pausing mid-sentence, she frowns, her expression growing dark. Her head tilts as if someone is speaking into her mind, and I see her concentrating on sending her pictorial response. Talia snarls, head snapping back to glare at the room. She rockets off the bed, looking deadly and angry, leaving me flabbergasted.
“Talia?”
She gives me a sad smile and comes to brush her hand on my cheek. “I care about you very much.”
That said, she stalks back to the closet and straps on her blades. I know that when she does this; she’s protecting herself. I don’t know what she’s protecting herself from. “What did I do wrong?”
“You did nothing wrong; don’t worry. Something hit me like a ton of bricks, and I need to go for a while,” she says, finishing up the sheaths and putting on sandals.
“I’m confused,” I murmur.
I didn’t say any of my thoughts out loud, and as close as my mates are to me, there are parts of me they do not have access to, even Taurus. The doors in my mind palace stay locked despite my deep connection to him.
She turns, giving me a sorrowful look. “Do you want to come with me? I have a place I go when I need to be away. They can’t reach me there.”
I nod, feeling more than a little worried. What had one of my mates said to her to have her off the rails like this? “Okay, I’ll go.”
“Are you sure? You don’t have to. You could help us get there. It’s a long drive, and you’d make it simpler.”
“I am. I’ll go with you,” I nod, pulling on a handkerchief halter and tiny shorts, trying to keep up with her frenetic motions. I feel like I’d rather be putting on my armor, and if I knew it wasn’t hot outside, I’d take my duster. It’s almost like my security blanket now, and having it when this feels so unstable would help me feel safe.
No room for safety here, though.
The Cat Goes To Paradise Lost
DELILAH
Talia closes her eyes, creating a perfect picture in her head and pushing it to me so I see where to aim. I don’t know this place. It might not even be in the Rift. I can get us there across the divide without screwing up, but I need to lose the emotion and focus on her image.
Hopefully, this is worth it.
It’s the lighthouse I see first, the smell of the gulf making my nose twitch. Even the picture of the scenery is calming her; I feel it. I look around as we apparate there, seeing the mangrove forest and a cove wrapping around the lighthouse grounds. There are only small strips of beach on either side to allow strangers to enter. It’s a beautiful escape, and I know she’s been coming here for a long time when she needs to recharge her batteries.
When Talia turns towards the sea, I look up, feeling the sun on my face and warm water lapping at my toes. She stares out into the wide expanse of turquoise water, spanning around to the bay where dolphins are swimming. I close my eyes as the distinctivescent of the beach tickles my nose—a combination of saltwater, wet sand, life, death, and decay that’s both pleasant and oddly comforting. I should have known by her appearance that Talia had the soul of a beach bum. Her comfort is in nature and the scenery, while I find my comfort in dark, quiet, cool places I can hide.
Hugging me to her, she whispers thanks in my ear over and over. When she lets me go, I glance around some more. I open the door inside me that allows my magick to connect to the world, and it all hits me at once. The water and its rhythm, the animals playing onshore and off, the palms and the seagrass swishing, and the singing in the waves: it surrounds me like a hug from an old friend, soothing the jagged edges of my nerves.
Singing—that’s new.
I’ve heard the song of the forest and the call of its inhabitants, but not the sea. I look over at her, pondering telling her about it, letting her feel what nature feels like for me, but she’s staring into the ocean with a serene smile. I don’t think it’s the time. This is her special place—I can tell. She invited me to see it, which is amazing.
While I look around, she strides over to the water’s edge and drops into a crouch. Smiling as the breeze rustles her hair, she watches a fiddler crab tear off a bit of food and stick it in its mandibles, a single enormous claw aimed at her in an imaginary challenge. She steals a glance at me, looking sheepish. “I’m sorry.”
I smile, letting her do what she needs to do. I don’t know what happened or why we are here, but I realize how significant it is that she invited me, and so I let her lead. “Sorry?”
Talia plops down on the sand and digs her feet in, holding out a hand to me. “Yup. Big time, sorry. I got hit with a large, unpleasant surprise in my head, and I crumbled. I still hurt, but this place always makes it better. As do you.”
