Page 94 of Love the Way You Lion
“I was ignoring it because I wanted to ignore it.”
Frowning, I walk over to stand next to her. “Damn it, I feel nothing. I only feel the itch and, well, nature, because I let it in.”
“I feel him. He’s running.”
I stomp my foot in the sand, irritated beyond telling. “I hate when they do that. I hate when they shut me out, when they run away, and they don’t even try?—”
“No, Del, it’s this place. It’s shielded, so we’re not supposed to feel it. I’m not supposed to feel him; I don’t even feel Taurus. Despite that, I feel Rafe deep inside me, and he’s running.” She lies back on the sand, quiet now.
Thanks for finally telling me, I guess. It’s not like he’s my primary or anything.
Dropping next to her in defeat, I sigh. “I feel everyone and everything unless I shut it out. I even feel when they’re trying to shut me out. It’s a constant low hum in my mind. I can open the door and let some or all of it in when I choose to. I keep many things closed so I don’t get overwhelmed.”
“Here you can open the door, but it won’t get in.”
“No wonder I feel off. I’m disconnected except for Gaia. She’s never cut off.”
“I feel him.” Her eyes are shadowed with sadness as she looks at me. “I’m sorry. This is my sanctuary. Maybe it wasn’t right to bring you here. You’re not having a good time.”
How am I supposed to when you’ve blasted all the progress everyone made this week away because of your insecurities?
I don’t say that, though; I just shake my head. “That’s my fault. I’ve been letting myself get caught up in things that aren’t my business. I should stop.”
“You mean Rafe and all of this.”
Lying back, I stretch out, shielding my eyes from the sun before mumbling, “If he’s running, that’s his choice. He’ll be back when he needs to be. I’m not worried.”
That’s not true—I’m nervous as hell. However, I was right; I can’t be in the middle. Whatever is going on with her and him is going to end up affecting me, my happiness, and my life. If they can’t work it out, I lose.
I was so stupid to let all this happen so fast, to think something would go my way—our way—so easily. I should have known better than to trust anyone but Taurus. He’s the only one who hasn’t broken me beyond repair in so long that I can’t remember, and I can’t do this with her.
“What does it mean when he runs? I sense turbulence.” She stops, closing her eyes and looking like she’s concentrating. “No focus, only jumbled and confusing emotions.”
Christ, I’m tired of interpreting. Why doesn’t she ask him?
She doesn’t want to know what it means when he runs. The last time was after he gave someone up for Wilde. He runs when heneeds distance and time to grieve. It surprised me when he didn’t with Alistair, but since I left so often and he had his studio, perhaps it was a different version of running.
“I guess he’s feeling guilty and confused. The last time he ran, he went north, where Lily and Mercury live. He blocked me for three days, and I think it would have gone on longer if one housemate hadn’t caught him sneaking in for some of his things one morning. It might be easier to track him down this time because I’ve got more juice. Since I don’t clamp down on my magick, it makes many things now possible, but I also haven’t had his blood for a while. It’s a toss-up.”
That’s all I’m giving her. I shouldn’t have to do this.
The Blade Drags Everyone Into the Darkness
DELILAH
“Ican find him. I don’t know if he’d resist, but I couldn’t block him the other day, and I was using everything I had to do so. My shields are damn good, but he felt my arm like he was the one with the tears.”
Well, fuck, then why are you so worried about how much he cares and how connected you are? Why are you making me suffer while I wait for you to break my heart into a million pieces?
“Will he answer? I don’t know what’s in his head. If you guys are that connected, I suppose he feels everything you’re feeling right now, which explains a lot.”
“What do you mean?”
“He feels you. He knows what you’ve been feeling here.”
She looks stricken, turning pale under her tan. “I didn’t think. I sometimes forget that it goes both ways with mates, and he—damn.”
I pound my head into the sand, closing my eyes in defeat. This is when everything gets blown to bits. Here I am, stepping onto the land mine.
