Page 96 of Love the Way You Lion
I get up and walk over to a palm tree, standing under it to get out of the sun. I close my eyes again, working on building the room in my heart. The door is dark and lethal-looking, like her. The hinges are shining silver and sharp like knives. The inside is gothic and dangerous, with a single painting of the beach.
Just a little more and it will be ready for me to shift things in and get it sealed.
Sobbing loudly, she kneels and clutches her stomach.
I can’t force myself to go to her; I’m too busy detaching my emotions from her one by one. Maeve is trying to soothe me and failing; her tiny light fighting to spread through the darkness inside me. A tough little spark, my wee one, but she can’t fix this. She doesn’t agree with my method of handling this. She doesn’t comprehend my bone-deep, weary pain that comes from grief and loss.
“Deli help me. What should I do? I can’t lose him; I can’t.”
My temper snaps, and I almost scream.
Why the fuck did she do this? Why did she question the foundation of their relationship because he had a good time with Taurus?
I’m not worried about Taurus loving someone more than me. I’d rip someone else’s face off for looking at him, but not Rafe. Neither of them would ever hurt me, and I know it. But Talia doesn’t believe me when I explain that. I don’t look at her, but I choose my words for their clinical precision.
This is me: detached and cool, unwilling to give her my pain.
“Talia, Rafe doesn’t say things out loud as often as he does things to show his love. I am certain that he’d give anything up for you. Whether he’s said it, I believe that he’s chosen to do so already if he’s running. He has barely even spoken to anyone but you and our family since Wilde died. He avoided other mates and friends unless I forced him to interact with them.”
“But he hasn’t been with me. I figured that Sari?—”
“No. She reserved her special brand of torture for me from the time we arrived at that hospital. She went to see him one time—to put an end to the bullshit about the rings.”
“It hurts so much. Deli, I want him. I need him. Oh God, what have I done?”
Ah, Cassiopeia, what have you done?
Closing my eyes, I wonder if I could blink out of here and go somewhere—anywhere—but here. Her pain is palpable, and my own is funneling into the room I’ve built inside. She’s not even the tiniest bit concerned about what will happen to me or Taurus if Rafe stays gone. She’s not worried about whether he’ll punish himself for hurting her, but I am because he will. He’s going to flagellate like a priest caught in the nunnery.
I’m going to feel every bit and just keep quiet, like with Victor. It will also have to live here in the room. I will need to make space for it. The cabinet appears in my mind, and I imagine its drawers being labeled one by one, getting ready to place memories and injuries on them to seal away.
The air shifts as if something in the magick in this place is shifting. I feel that she’s reaching out to him. She’s looking for him. I don’t know if it’s working because I’m not willing to bust the barriers someone has cast on this place to pieces to help her. I could, but I don’t want to.
The energy she’s putting out is getting intense. I stop my internal construction to walk over and sit nearby. It crawls over my skin, and I shudder. Their connection is powerful. Before I can stop her, her hand reaches out and grabs my wrist.
No, no, no! This is bad; this is bad.
I try to shake her off, but I can’t. The wind howls. She’s sucking in my power, and this is so dangerous; she doesn’t know how to control it. I don’t know how deep the well goes! I can’t get her hand off me, and the sea is roiling, the sand is blowing, and the skyis getting dark. Everything around us is turning black, and I can’t make it stop.
We are so royally fucked.
