Page 64 of Bliss: Part 1
This was a little different. These people weren’t classmates or familiar faces. They were strangers, all heading in and out of stores. The unfamiliarity made me uneasy, and each store felt like a question mark. What kind of people would be in there, would someone notice me, would I be judged for looking like I didn’t belong?
I had to keep repeating the same line to myself over and over:You belong here too. No one’s paying attention to you. You’re just another shopper like everyone else.It sounded silly in my head, but sometimes those little mantras are all I have to keep myself steady. Anxiety doesn’t care about logic. It makes me feel like an outsider no matter where I go, unless I’m with family. Then I feel grounded. Supported.
That’s probably why I’ve always handled parties a bit better. Not that they’re easy, but usually I have at least one of my brothers or cousins nearby to keep me anchored.
“What store do you want to check out first?” Tia asked, scanning the mall’s first floor like she already had a mental list mapped out.
“Whichever one you like,” I said, trying to sound casual. “I haven’t been here in a while, so you’re the expert.”
She pressed her lips together in thought, narrowed her eyes like she was making a serious decision, and then pointed. “Let’s start with Delaya’s. They always have cute stuff.”
I nodded and followed her lead. I hadn’t planned on actually buying anything today. Even with the money Dad gave me, I couldn’t bring myself to treat it like it was mine. I kept thinking about our grocery budget, how far that money could stretch feeding everyone at home. But I did tell myself that if I found one small thing, something that felt right and didn’t cost too much, I’d let myself have it. As long as it wasn’t more than twenty bucks.
Shopping was surprisingly fun with Tia. She shopped like a pro, barely glancing at price tags. She had that rich-girl ease to her, casually swiping her boyfriend’s credit card at every stop. Clothes, shoes, accessories…she didn’t hesitate. We stopped in store after store, and she came out with bags every time.
Eventually, we had to make a trip back to her car just to unload everything. Her arms were full and her energy hadn’t even dipped. It was kind of entertaining to watch. The more she bought, the less I felt the need to pick anything up for myself. Watching her excitement, her joy over every purchase, sort of rubbed off on me. It was contagious in a good way.
And honestly, I didn’t even know where I’d put that many clothes. My closet at home was already tight.
Then, in the fifteenth store we walked in, I sawthem.
Red cowboy boots.
I hadn’t been looking for anything in particular, but when I saw them on display, I froze. Something about them just hit me. My old pair had just about given out. I wore boots like these to work all the time, and not just because they were practical. They gave me a kind of quiet confidence that nothing else in my wardrobe did.
Tia came up beside me, her gaze dropping to the boots in my hands. “Ooh, those are cute,” she said. “Totally something you could wear for a night out at the bar.”
I smiled, but for a different reason. I wasn’t thinking of wearing them out on the town. I was picturing myself behind the counter atThe Old.
Then I flipped the price tag over, and my smile vanished.
“Never mind,” I muttered with an awkward little laugh.
“How much are they?” Tia asked.
“Two-fifty,” I said, shaking my head as I placed them back. “I’m one hundred and fifty short even if Iwantedto spend that much. But honestly, it’s too much for boots.”
Without missing a beat, she said, “I’ll buy them for you.”
I turned toward her. “No.”
“Just try them on first,” she insisted. “What size are you?”
“I can’t let you—” I sighed again, trying to explain, even though I could already see she wasn’t listening. “They’re expensive, and it’d be a waste. They’re not for going out, they’re just for work. It’s not worth it.”
She shrugged, unfazed. “What size? Seven?”
I looked down at my feet and gave in reluctantly. “Yeah.”
“Perfect.” She pulled out a box from under the display and set it on the nearby bench. “Try them on.”
I figured I’d humor her. Slip them on, pretend they didn’t look good, and move on to the next store. Easy.
But the moment I slid my feet into those boots, it was like something clicked. They fit like they were made for me. Like they belonged on me. It felt ridiculous to think about shoes this way, but the moment I looked in the mirror, I knew I had to have them.
“God…” I murmured.
“You looksohot,” Tia said. “We’re getting you those.”
