Page 72 of Bliss: Part 1
“Please,” I added, my voice barely above a whisper. “I have to tell him.”
He didn’t say yes, but he didn’t argue again either. He just looked at me, and something in his expression softened into acceptance. Like he understood that once I made up my mind, there wasn’t much anyone could do to stop me.
Even so, I could feel the tension growing in my body again, that urge to get up and walk straight to my dad’s room and just blurt it all out. It was growing stronger by the second, and my legs were itching to move before my brain could talk me out of it. But I stayed where I was, because part of me still hoped Dash would say something that would make this all make sense again. That would give me a reason to keep it buried a little longer.
“Let me hold you for a little while longer,” he said. He could feel the storm building in my chest. He wrapped his arms tighter around me, pulling me against him again. “Please. Just…come to bed. Let’s just lie down. You don’t have to decide anything tonight.”
I hesitated, then gave a tiny nod.
He stood up first, then bent and lifted me easily into his arms, carrying me the few feet to my bed. The bedroom door was still closed, the house silent around us. Everyone else was asleep, completely unaware of the emotional chaos unraveling behind my bedroom door.
“Here,” he whispered, laying me down gently. He pulled the blanket up over us and pulled me close to his chest.
I curled into him, letting my face press into his shirt, letting his warmth settle over me like a shield. He held me like that until my body began to relax again.
And eventually, despite the storm still spinning in my head, I fell asleep.
But even in sleep, nothing felt right.
My dreams were blurry and disjointed. My thoughts were a mess. My body felt disconnected from me, like it didn’t belong to me anymore. I didn’t feel whole. I didn’t feel okay.
Everything inside me, my feelings, my instincts, my sense of safety, was twisted up beyond recognition.
Everything about me, and everything surrounding me, felt wrong.
And in the moment, I simply had to accept it.
Twenty-Two
Bliss
The sleep I got wasn’t real sleep. It wasn’t deep, and my brain couldn’t fully shut off. I kept waking up, staring into the dark, too aware of Dash’s arms around me. He didn’t loosen his grip once. He held onto me like I was going to disappear if he let go.
I didn’t have the energy to move even if I wanted to. But the urge to get up, to talk to Dad, was still in me. It had been sitting in my chest since last night. I’d hoped the feeling would wear off by morning, that maybe things would make more sense after some rest, but they didn’t. I still felt the same.
I still needed to tell him.
It’s not that Iwantedto. I didn’twantto ruin everything. I didn’twantto tear the family apart. I didn’twantto see the looks on their faces when they realized what I’d done. But none of that outweighed the fact that I couldn’t live with this in my head anymore.
After more hours of not being able to sleep, I finally got up.
I did it slowly to not wake him. I gently moved Dash’s arm off my waist and slipped out from under the blanket without making a sound. He stirred a little but didn’t wake up. His face was soft, looking so peaceful. I hated that I’d soon mess with that peace.
I stood up and walked toward the door, as quiet as I possibly could. My whole body was tense, but I had set my mind to something, and I was going to go through with it. Once I was out in the hallway, I tried to breathe normally, but I couldn’t. My heart was already racing.
Dad’s room was down the hallway. I had planned to go straight there. Just knock on the door, say I needed to talk, and get it over with before I lost my nerve.
But as I started moving, Rhys’s door creaked open, and he stepped out into the hallway.
I froze, and my mouth went dry.
My heart suddenly wasn’t beating anymore.
His hair was messy, his face tired, but he looked like he had been awake for a while. He scanned my face and took a small step toward me. “How are you feeling, sweet girl?” he asked quietly.
His voice was soft. He was being genuine, and he truly wanted to know how I was.
I hesitated. “Fine,” I said quickly, pressing my lips together.
