“But Idoknow. I can’tunknow,” Cole said. “So tell me. Who’d you kill? What vampire curses have you unearthed? Whatever’s bugging you, you don’t have to keep it a secret. Not from me.”
“It’s not a big secret or anything! It’s that text, and the meetup. I had a whole breakdown about it, but I’m feeling much better after expressing myself and would love it if we could move on.”
“Yeah?” Cole said. “Well, I’ve been hearing these rumors.”
Brennan’s stomach dropped.
“About?”
“There’s this freshman girl missing. People are getting all up in a tizzy about it. Does this have something to do with your vampire stuff?”
Brennan bounced his knee anxiously.
“I might have overheard you in the library the other day.”
“No shit,” Cole said.
“But I swear, I had nothing to do with it! That I know of. And I know that’s not extremely convincing but just know I’m trying to figure it out. I’mgoingto figure it out.”
Cole tilted his head, studying Brennan, and hummed. Brennan couldn’t handle waiting for him to form a response so he kept talking.
“If you thought I could be involved, why didn’t you tell anyone about me?” Brennan asked, crossing his arms. “That was my end of the deal.”
“Oh. Well.” Cole reached into his pocket with his free hand and emerged with a fidget toy that he focused his attention on. “I didn’t really think you were involved. You don’t mean any harm.”
Brennan’s mouth opened and closed again. The first time the thirst had hit, evenhehadn’t been sure he wasn’t going to hurt someone. He settled on asking, “How do you know?”
“That night we met? The first time in the library last year?” Fidget toy forgotten, Cole’s piercing attention was back on him, and Brennandidn’t know what to do with it. He waited a beat too long before realizing that was the end of Cole’s answer.
“When I whined to you for hours about all my stupid problems?” Brennan finished. That didn’t seem like a good reason to trust someone.
Cole’s eyebrows raised in such disbelief that Brennan wondered if his own memory was betraying him. That night only came to him in flashes. His own emotions and depression were his strongest memory, far more than what he actually said, or what Cole had said, for that matter.
“You mean when you talked to me about all the people you cared about and all the ways you wished the world were better?” Cole corrected. “It was the kindest and most thoughtful rant I ever heard, and that’s saying something.”
Brennan blinked and tried to absorb that information, almost expecting Cole to fizzle away as a half-baked fever dream. But Cole stayed, shadows cloaking his face.
“I don’t think I remember our conversation the way you do,” Brennan said.
“You don’t have to. But that’s why I… trusted you to do the right things, I guess.”
“That’s a pretty big leap.”
“I was right, wasn’t I? You’re doing pretty good from what I’ve seen.”
Brennan resisted the urge to laugh out loud. He didn’tfeellike he was doing well. It felt like he was one misstep away from crashing and burning.
“Why do you want to get involved?” Brennan said in a rush. “It would be easier for everyone if you stayed away from this.”
“Because, well—” Cole’s cheeks flushed pink, which was all sorts of interesting, and he said, “It’s kind of cool, obviously.”
Brennan repeated, “It’scool?”
Cole rolled his eyes, like he thought Brennan was fishing for compliments. “Come on, man, it’s objectively freakin’ cool.”
Brennan gaped at him. Cole offered Brennan his cigarette and Brennan wasdyingto ask him questions.
Because maybe Brennan wanted to even the playing field. If helearned about Cole—if he could know as much about Cole as Cole did about him—maybe that sharp feeling in Brennan’s stomach whenever Cole was around would soften. Maybe it’d be easier to look him in the (soft, warm, chocolate-brown) eyes.
