“To start with, I didn’t have one.” I let my gaze meet his, his eyebrows furrowing.
“You didn’t have a family? Or a childhood?”
“I’ve never met my parents, Levi,” I say softly. “At least, not my real ones. I was put into the foster system when I was little because they couldn’t take care of themselves. I’m one of those kids who bounced around from foster home to foster home, hoping and praying I’d be adopted but wasn’t.”
Silence slams between us like a door hit by a strong wind. I can tell by the look on his face that he’s horrified he even brought it up now, so I reach out and pat his arm.
“It’s fine, now. I’m here and I took care of myself to get here.”
His lips, smiling a moment ago, are now taut. “But it couldn’t have been easy.”
“It wasn’t. I got a job as soon as I could make money. I worked fast food, mowing lawns, cleaning houses…whatever I needed to do, and I saved every penny.”
“As a teenager?”
I nod. “Yep. I worked around studying because I knew I wanted to graduate high school and get a diploma. I wasn’t happy. I was in homes where there was always a circumstance;one family was only fostering so they could collect the checks, and another had a super sweet mother but the father had a temper—that house I ran away from, which didn’t go over well. The third one I was placed in, one of the other kids bullied the rest of us and I ended up getting into a fight with him.”
“What?”
“He tried to steal one of the younger kids’ lunches one day when we were waiting for the school bus. So, I…hit him.” I hold up my right hand, balling it into a fist. “Tiny but mighty. I knocked out one of his front teeth.”
Levi nearly spits out his sandwich. “Sorry. I’m trying to deal with this visual of you punching some guy. Good on you; someone needed to defend the younger kids.”
“Someone had to do it, but I hate fighting. I hate anger and yelling.” Of course, it comes from all of the different houses I lived in. One hundred percent. It was like being on a game show and not knowing which prize you’d get when you spun the wheel.
“Of course you do, I’m not saying you’re condoning it,” Levi murmurs, inching closer to me. “How come you’ve not told me about this before?”
“I don’t tell anyone this, Levi. I’m trying to make new memories that I can hold on to that are happy ones. That’s why the bookstore is so special to me.”
“So you saved enough money as a teen to open it?”
“Kind of, but not really.” I chuckle. “I was able to open the store with a grant for underprivileged women. There was a businesswoman out of Charlotte who ran a competition years ago asking for business proposals from single women who needed help. I was lucky enough to make it to the final, and win support. I used that money to rent the space and order my first few boxes of books. From there, the rest has worked out because I’ve worked hard onit.”
There’s something different in his eyes, watching me as he listens. “I had no idea.”
“It’s not like I advertise it.” I take my last bite of this amazing pork sandwich and chew, staring at the park grounds. I shiver uncontrollably as the sun begins to dip behind the trees, a movement that doesn’t go unnoticed by Levi.
“Here,” he says as he shrugs out of his zip-up hoodie, putting it over my shoulders. “You’re cold.”
“Thank you,” I say, pulling it tightly around me. It’s fleeting, but I catch a whiff of Levi’s cologne—a hint of bergamot and sandalwood mixed together. My senses are in overdrive; he’s like a comfortable blanket holding me safe. “I’ve worked hard for what I have, which is why I think I’m freaking out that I need to evacuate my apartment right now. I don’t like being told Ihaveto go.”
“I get it, and thank you.” Levi’s hand is suddenly on top of mine, squeezing it. “Thank you for trusting me enough to share that with me.”
I don’t dare look down, even though I want to. I just want to enjoy this moment with Levi sitting here comforting me while we eat our food. I want to burn the feeling he gives me into my memory banks so I can return to it later, when I’m alone at home and wishing I was brave enough to speak up and tell him how I feel.
I’ll also try to tell myself that I’m not really falling for him and haven’t been all this time because that’s a fun game I play in my head, but at least it’s safe. Because he’s another part of me I don’t want to ever go away, especially not now that I have him in my universe.
“You know,” he says, interrupting my internal spiral, “Austin and I were in town checking on some of our rental properties this morning. One of them is not far from the bookstore and it’s empty right now. I’ve been thinking offixing it up for Duncan and me to move into, but maybe you could stay there while they work on your place?”
“Are you serious?” Who is this guy? Prince Charming? “Oh my gosh, Levi, yes! If you’re serious, that would help me so much.”
“Of course I’m serious.” Despite the happiness in my voice and the sincerity in his question, his face is dark and he keeps his eyes on the ground, pulling his hand off of mine. I miss his warmth as soon as it’s gone.
Throwing my hands around his neck, I pull him tight. “You’re my hero. Thank you!” I sit back and chuckle. “That was too easy, but it’s you. You’re like a godsend.”
He shrugs. “It’s nothing.”
“Stop that.” I put my hand on his shoulder. “If there’s anything I can do in return for you, you have to let me know. I appreciate where your heart is, but now that you’ve heard my background, you have to understand I know that there’s never a free ride.”
