He shakes his head from side to side. I can only imagine what it must feel like for all of them to relive the hurt from last year over and over, but for Duncan to have to when he’s the sole survivor has to be gut-wrenching and impossible to understand when you’re ten.
“Well, when you start to see your therapist he’ll help you create boundaries so you can talk about what you want and need, okay?” I lean down and pull him in for a hug, not expecting anything in return. However, I’m surprised and buoyed when he wraps his hands around my waist and squeezes me tight.
“I don’t want her to be mad, I just want to be…here.”
“It’s fine, and we’ll figure it out, okay? It’s not like any of us have been through this before.”
“I still want to see my grandmom, just not live with her.” His voice is so matter-of-fact, like “Why can’t you adults do it like this?” This kid is so gonna run for President one day. Fingers crossed.
“Well, the next time I see her, we’ll talk about this, okay?”
“I don’t have to do it?”
“No, I can,” I say as I ruffle his hair.
“Cool.” He shoves his hands in his front pockets. “So, I know you want to play ping-pong but…can I go play video games for a little while instead?”
Go figure. My head is spinning from all the turns this conversation is taking. “Go for it.”
He cracks me up as he skips out of the barn. Even the dogs are pulled in by his energy as they all rise from their slumbers and trot behind him, following him back to the house.
I wonder if this is what parenting really looks like. Trying to find a gray area in keeping kids young and oblivious while also gently bringing them into a very adult world with very adult situations. Social media, mobile phones, dating.
Sighing, I scratch my head as I sit back down and stare at the paperwork I’d discarded earlier. A letter of retirement I’ve been working on with my agent, Travis, to give to the owner of the team letting everyone know that next year is officially my last year in the NFL playing professionally. I’m still not one hundred percent sure that this is what I’m supposed to do, so it’s not gone to anyone yet. I’ve not talked to anyone except Travis about this because I just don’t know if it’s what I’m doing yet.
When I think about my career, I’ve had a good run. An amazing one. From high school state championships to college wins, and now a career that has taken me places I never thought I'd end up.
But now, there’s Duncan.
Now, there’s also Georgie—and there’s a possibility of a future with both.
Just the thought of her brings a grin to my face that is a mile wide. When I think about her, I think about that kiss in my apartment. The other night at dinner, I fought my instinct to drag her out of the room and press her up against a wall and slam my mouth across hers.
Yet, Duncan’s words also reverberate in my ear.She’s alone. Like me.
I was able to explain to him that he’s not alone, and I know he gets me, but does Georgie think that, too? Does she feel alone in the world?
I put the documents back in their folder for safekeeping. I can come back to them another day.
Instead, I let images of Georgie dance in my mind, the feeling of those soft, full lips still imprinted on me. I’ve wanted to kiss her for so long, and to finally have it happen, well, I’m a little embarrassed she had to be the first one to do it. But I’m catching up, slowly. From what I can tell from our brief conversation at dinner the other night, she’s on the same page. Which is good. Great in fact.
Because I’m starting to see a life without her in it may not be a fun one at all. Over the last few days, I’ve checked in with myself, wondering if I could date someone else who isn’t Georgie or if I could be interested in someone down the road. The answer is always the same as it has been since I met her: a resounding no.
When I think about seeing her with someone else, something absolutely insane happens inside of me. I feel like steam starts to come out of my ears and I want to scream. The thought of another man even touching her…
But she’s not really mine to have, is she? We’requid pro quo. Or are we?
“Argh!” I shake my head and stand up from the desk. The gym is calling. When I’m this pent-up, I need a good workout.
It would appear that by asking for this favor I’ve gotten me and Georgie right tangled in a web of untruths. But does it count if I’m starting to fall head over heels for her?
SIXTEEN
Georgie
“Do you have anything on the Roman Empire?”
Tilting my head to the side, I purse my lips and put on my thinking face. Or at least my best impression of what I think one looks like. “So it’s true that men think about the Roman Empire at least once a day, huh?”
