Page 75 of (Un)wise
“If he clears out before check out tomorrow morning, we’ll see if we can book the rooms for another night. It will give Mary and Gregory enough time to reach us,” Nana spoke directly to Emmitt. Michelle continued to play with Aden but took another sip of whiskey at the news.
A few minutes later Sam rejoined us just in time for our food. I dug into my meal and looked forward to staying there another day.
* * * *
Stuffed from dinner even with Aden’s help with dessert, I willingly followed everyone back to Nana’s room where we all grabbed our things. The Elders agreed it would be best if they spread themselves throughout the rooms in case we needed a quick warning to leave. Grey and Carlos roomed with us, Sam stayed with Gabby, and Nana with Charlene and Thomas since their room adjoined to Michelle and Emmitt’s.
Feeling awkward, I closed myself in the bathroom to get ready for bed. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, then stared at my bag. If we needed to leave in the middle of the night, I wasn’t about to run out into the storm wearing sleep pants. I grabbed some clean clothes and changed. When I emerged, I saw the rest had the same idea—except for Luke. When he saw me, he smiled, pulled off his shirt, and lay back with an arm across my pillow. An open invitation to my favorite spot to sleep.
I crawled into bed and gave into a dreamless night.
* * * *
The morning brought better news. Grey greeted me with a smile saying, “We’re here for another day.” Then he made the news sweeter saying, “Carlos and I are going back into our own room. It’s a good thing you’re a solid sleeper because he snores.” He looked at Luke who grinned and seemed undisturbed by the news.
We went to breakfast and listened to everyone else’s plans for the day. Michelle wanted to take the kids to a movie —early showing of course—and Nana wanted to shop for some snacks to pack in the cars for everyone. Grey claimed Carlos just wanted to watch cable all day. Carlos’ only reaction to that was a long look at Grey. I had a feeling it was Grey who wanted to watch cable all day. Gabby said she had schoolwork she wanted to focus on for a few hours. I envied her belief that life would continue as normal once we found Peace. I wasn’t about to tell her otherwise.
Sam looked at Luke and me. “What about you two?”
“Nothing that involves driving,” I said.
Sam smiled. “Well, Grey will be here if you need anything,” he said, looking first at Gabby then at me. “I think I’m going to tag along with Winifred.”
* * * *
Luke and I ended up walking with Emmitt and his family to the movie theater. The kids picked out a new cartoon for everyone to see. Luke and I got our own popcorn to share. It felt weird going to a movie, but Gabby had assured us there was no one close. And there wasn’t anything else to do but wait until Mary and Gregory came for the kids.
So, I sat back and enjoyed the show, laughing—really laughing—for the first time since the dreams started. Luke surprised me by cupping my chin and pulling my attention from the screen. Before I knew what he intended, his lips met mine in a kiss so mind-numbing and brief that I blinked at the screen for several minutes afterward. When I looked back at him, he watched the screen with a tiny image of the movie reflected in his eyes.
Not knowing what to think of the unexpected kiss, I went back to enjoying the movie, as I threaded my fingers through his. Every once in a while his thumb would smooth over the back of my hand.
After the show, we all walked back to the hotel. Everyone else was going to lunch, but the popcorn from the theater ruined my appetite, and I felt the tug of a dream. So, Luke and I walked back to our room.
Instead of giving into the dream, I decided to take a shower and warned Luke it would be a warm one just in case he thought I was taking too long. I hadn’t enjoyed the last time I fell asleep in a hotel bathtub.
Stripped down and letting the water run, I looked at myself in the mirror. I still desperately wanted to Claim Luke and wished I was brave enough to walk out there just as I was to try to tempt him. But I wasn’t. The scars on my arms bothered me. They were from a desperate time in my life that I really didn’t want to think about. The one on my stomach was just stupid. What really bothered me was my weight. I’d gained a little but not enough to look appealing, in my mind. Every time I pictured myself bare in Luke’s presence, a scene from Les Misérables—the old one, not the new—interposed itself. It was the part where Uma Thurman pulled back the covers to offer herself as payment to her landlord. Thin and sickly, she’d disgusted him. That’s what I envisioned. A grand gesture and an epic failure that would leave me crushed.
Covering myself with my arms, I ducked under the spray ready to wash away all my ugliness. It didn’t work.
When I stepped out of the shower, I was the same scarred, thin me. I looked around for my bag and started to panic. I hadn’t brought it in with me. Was this a self-fulfilling prophecy? I sat on the toilet on the verge of tears with a dream tapping its sharp fingers on my skull.
Why did life have to be so hard?
A knock on the door startled me.
“You all right?” Luke asked from the other side.
I quickly stood and rubbed my yet unshed tears away. “Yeah. I just forgot the bag.”
“I’ll get it,” His voice sounded fainter, and I knew he had already walked away from the door.
Making a quick I-don’t-want-to-do-this face, I turned the knob and opened it a few inches to look out. He had his back to me, picking up the bag from one of the beds. When he turned and saw me, he stopped. Shame burned me as I gave him an uncertain smile, closed the door a bit further, and held out a hand, palm up. Only after I did it, did I realize I’d exposed my wrist. My eyes flew to his again. He hadn’t moved.
I curled up, died, and was reborn in the fires of my anguish. Yanking the door open, I marched right up to him and pried the bag from his dead fingers.
“Just so you know, I had a boyfriend. Before the dreams started, and I went crazy,” I said defensively. “It was pretty serious.”
Finally, emotion broke through his shocked expression.
