Page 51 of (Sur)real
A hand swiped gently over his brow, and I shifted my attention to Gabby. She didn’t look at me, her focus completely on Clay. Her fingers smoothed over the skin of his cheek, again and again, giving him what comfort she could.
I wanted that. A Mate to fuss over me. I should have never taken the oath.
The pain, which had been receding, swelled forward again.
I grunted, and Dad gripped my shoulder.
“We can’t take any more loss,” Dad said quietly. “You took the oath. Let thoughts of any other life go.”
The pack. My people. He was right. I needed to think of them. When I did, breathing got easier.
Olivia would never be my Mate. I needed to come to terms with that.
I’m sorry it’s you,Henry sent me,but I’m really glad it isn’t me.
The thought of the pup trying to pursue her set my teeth on edge, and I fought not to growl.
Me too,I sent back.
Henry turned from the box of pizza and frowned at me.
That doesn’t sound like a guy who has given up.
Mom walked back into the room alone. The immediate need to know where she’d left Olivia caused the pain to squeeze to life in my chest. This time I didn’t grunt.
Knowing what worked last time, I focused on Paul and the cubs. The people who needed me the most. The pain eased, and I almost grinned. This was a little like lying to Winifred. Just like Sam said. It wasn’t about not wanting my Mate, it was about distracting myself from acknowledging it.
“Are you all right?” Mom asked, moving to stand in front of me and fussing about my color and the sweat on my forehead.
“I’m fine, Ma.”
She lightly smacked me upside my head.
“Then don’t ever pull that shit again.”
Even Grey stopped what he was doing to turn and look at her.
The angry light left her eyes, and she immediately burst into tears and hugged me tightly.
“I can’t lose anyone else,” she sobbed softly.
I held her close, hating myself for not getting to that clearing faster. Mary hadn’t just been like a second Mom to me. She’d also been a sister to Mom.
“Come on, Charlene,” Dad said, tugging on her arm and loosening her stranglehold on me. “Let’s go to another room for a while.”
She nodded against me, pressed a kiss to my forehead with a warning to behave for once in my life, then left with Dad. I watched them go and noticed that Winifred and Sam still stood near the door. Both watched me closely.
I exhaled heavily and stood.
“I’ll be back,” I said.
“Where are you going?”
“Away from the stares. Don’t worry; I don’t plan on dying today.”
I left the room and went back to the lobby.
Outside, I stood in the falling snow. Each time my mind drifted to Olivia, the pain grew worse. When my mind remained with the pack, the pain lessened. The pack depended on Olivia, though. Not just Olivia but all of the women. According to Bethi, they controlled the fate of the world. As an Elder, how could I not think about them and how each individual impacted that fate?
