Page 79 of The Howl
“For me, yes. You saw what I’ve been wearing to school this week. My next jacket would have probably been a see-through raincoat.”
“You should ask Mrs. Quill to take you shopping again.”
I recalled the shopping trip we’d taken with Ashlyn to cheer her up after her uncle died. It had been Ashlyn’s first trip out of Uttira—Council sanctioned, of course—and she’d loved it for the most part. So had I.
“I don’t think she would,” I said, opening my door.
“Why not?”
I buckled and started the car as she did the same.
“They’re playing games again like they did with Megan. Only now, I’m their pet project.”
“Uh-oh.”
“Yeah. So, while I could ask for another fun shopping trip, I doubt I’d like what it would cost me. Did Eugene tell you that Adira invited him to the Quills for dinner so I could feed on him?”
“What? No.”
My grip on the steering wheel tightened.
“I refused, of course.”
“Of course,” she echoed.
“And Adira said I would regret my decision. Now, the Council supposedly suspects my mom of killing trolls because she’s pregnant and hungry. In reality, I think they brought her here to punish me. The jokes on them, though. I know my mom, and she won’t put up with Adira’s manipulation games much longer.”
“So Adira brought your mom here just because you wouldn’t feed on Eugene? That seems a little extreme.”
“She brought my mom here because they think I’m starving myself. That I’m not eating enough.”
“Do you think there’s anything to their concern?” she asked.
“No. Why?”
She shrugged.
“Just say it,” I said. “You know I won’t get mad.”
“Honestly, I’m not sure how to put it into words without making it sound like I’m criticizing you.”
“I know you’re not. Try. Maybe it will help me understand what they see.”
“Well, you’re not like the other succubus at school. You’re small. Not just in size but your presence, too. The other girls can walk in and own a room. Even knowing the tricks of your kind, it’s hard not to look. With you, it’s easier.”
“Not that easy. You fell for it on Thursday.”
“True. But it was because I had my guard down. I wasn’t looking for it with you. You don’t tempt me now, and I’m not sure you could if you tried. It’s like you lack a spark.”
I considered what she was saying.
“Are you mad?” she asked.
“No. I’m trying to look at myself objectively. I think you’re right that I’m missing the spark that they have. But I think it’s by choice, not starvation. I don’t want to be like them and command a room with a look. If I’m noticed, I want it to be like this,” I said, waving a hand between us. “Something real.”
“I don’t know, Eliana. I’ve overheard the other girls talk about how often they feed, and it’s a lot. They also get insanely hangry when they skip a meal. Even the guys are like that. You heard about Eras, right? He’s going crazy because he went hungry for a night. How are you not hungry all the time like them?”
“I am hungry all the time. I just learned to control it.”
