Page 128 of The Howl
“I doubt anyone is ready to hear there’s something wrong with them.” I struggled not to be angry with him as my thoughts collided. How many times had I fought against Adira’s insistence that I feed? Would I have taken her insistence more seriously if I’d known? Would I have done something differently? I doubted it. I didn’t feel sick. Not then and not now.
“Why do I look fine if I’m starving?” I asked.
He shrugged slightly.
“That might be something to ask your mom when you go back.”
I leaned my head against the stone wall and watched the steam move in the torchlight. He didn’t sayifI go back, butwhen, because we both knew there was nowhere else for me. Like I’d pointed out, I was trapped.
“What am I supposed to do?” I asked, more to myself than Fenris.
“If you don’t want to go to New York, don’t.”
I snorted.
“Right. That’ll fly.”
“Have you told your mom what you told me? That you’ll hate yourself once you feed like she does?”
I thought back to all of the conversations I’d had with my mom. While I’d strongly hinted at it, I didn’t think I’d ever come out and said it as bluntly as I had with Fenris.
“I’m not sure,” I admitted.
“Then don’t wait for my dad to find you and drag you home. Face her on your own terms, and tell her what you really feel.”
I turned my head to look at him.
“The fallout is going to be catastrophic,” I said. “She’ll take what I’m saying to mean that I would rather die than be like her.”
“Isn’t that what you’re doing?” he asked softly. “Slowly dying because you’re trying not to be like her? Maybe if she knows the problem, she can help find a solution. Talk to her. See if there’s another way to feed.”
“Fine.”
We left the caves, but rather than going straight home, Fenris drove us to his cabin. My teeth chattered the whole way, part of the reason he’d insisted on driving and the cabin.
“Are you going to let me carry you?” he asked when we reached the end of the road.
“N-nope. You already h-had your daily affection. T-too much will go to your h-head.”
“Doesn’t count. I didn’t hug you back,” he said with a grin.
I rolled my eyes and got out of the car. We both knew that was a lie. He’d definitely hugged me. Maybe not at the same time I hugged him, but it didn’t matter. I knew if I gave in now, it would become a game with him. For whatever reason, Fenris was a very touchy-feely kind of person.
He led the way to the cabin, glancing back at me constantly. I tried not to begrudge the steam rolling off his exposed torso. Or stare at all the muscled flesh on display. Thankfully, I had enough to distract me.
With my wet hair, I couldn’t keep myself warm enough; and my teeth were clicking together with increasing force. I didn’t lie and try to tell him I was fine. I was freezing and wanted to get inside quickly. However, I didn’t give in and ask for help, either.
When the small building came into sight, Fenris jogged ahead. I entered a minute later to the crackle of a fire just getting started. Using my hip, I closed the door and shuffled to the chair.
“You never said. After the last time I was here, did anyone find this place?” I asked.
“Nope. It’s still my secret hideout from the ladies,” he said with a grin. “Well, the rest of the ladies. Do you want something to drink or eat?”
My hunger lifted its head, and I glanced away from him as he straightened.
“No, I’m fine. Thank you.”
He sighed.
