Page 52 of The Howl
“You’re probably past that already too, aren’t you? Just like me at your age. I bloomed fast and hard.” A wistful smile crossed her face. “All the boys in a ten-mile radius had difficulty walking for most of that summer. Oh, the things we did. Have you had group sex already?”
“Mom, please,” I managed in a strangled whisper, wishing the earth would open up and hell would swallow me whole. Because it sure felt like I belonged there. My hunger was giddy with all the suggestions she was giving it. And a good part of me was curious, too. However, most of me just felt mortified that she was talking about this in a normal, conversational tone.
“Not here,” I said.
She glanced around the restaurant in confusion until her gaze landed on Fenris.
“Is it because there’s someone from your school here?” she asked me, finally lowering her voice. “I can assure you Raiden’s boy won’t care. Wolves have as voracious an appetite for sex as we do. Too bad it’s only for their mates.”
She gave me a considering look that slowly turned to worry.
“You’re embarrassed,” she said in sudden shock. “You’re not a virgin, are you?”
Her last words had been delivered in a louder than normal tone of abject horror that only a succubus mother could manage when talking about virginity.
The gentle clanking of silverware stopped, and another wave of mortification tickled its way up my spine. Without a doubt, she’d gained the attention of every single person in the restaurant. I didn’t turn to look, though, as my face continued to heat.
Mom continued to watch me expectantly, her worry growing. While I knew she loved me unconditionally, her affection didn’t make her inability to understand why I hadn’t been with anyone yet any easier.
It was crazy to think I’d successfully kept it from her this long. Well, not just me. Adira and the Quills knew, too. But, they hadn’t said anything either because the Council hadn’t wanted a succubus as powerful as my mom running amok in Uttira. Adira’s silence had enabled me to lead Mom to the belief that I was just a picky eater. A stubborn teen rebelling. None of that bothered my mom. However, a virgin succubus my age was unheard of. She’d never leave now, even if her name was cleared with the Council.
I reached into my purse and set my keys on the table.
“I’ll see you at home.”
Mom didn’t try to stop me as I got up and walked out. Although she might not understand why I was upset, she always knew when I needed my space and gave it to me. Just like she had four years ago when I asked to live with the Quills and figure out this succubus thing on my own. I wasn’t quite the same girl I’d been back then. I was smarter about the world to which I’d been born. However, I was still just as lost.
The cold winter air licked at my exposed arms, a reminder that I still hadn’t gotten my coat back from Adira. How had everything gone so wrong so quickly? As much as I would like to say my problems began when Megan left, they’d been building long before that. Each time I’d refused Adira’s prodding to become more “normal” for a succubus, I’d dug myself a deeper hole. And now, there would be no escaping my fate because Mom knew my big secret.
I hated the pressure that everyone put on me. It wasn’t just the adults, either. It was also my peers. Why wasn’t I kissing anyone at the Academy? Or dating? Obviously, something had to be wrong with me, according to them. Nothing felt wrong, though, except the way I was constantly judged and found lacking. Why couldn’t they all just let me be me?
Lost in my own head, I walked along the road home. At least, I thought I did.
When the scent of something mouthwatering finally teased my attention from my thoughts, I looked up and found myself in the middle of a quiet neighborhood. I knew I should turn around and leave the tempting smell, but I couldn’t.
As if pulled by an invisible thread, I moved closer to the stone house with blue shutters. It looked and smelled so inviting. The smoke that curled from the chimney only added to the flavor already in the air.
I inhaled deeply, my hunger already demanding its due, and stepped closer to the home’s darkened window. The light from the backyard glinted silver off my black eyes as I approached. In the glass’s reflection, I watched myself open my mouth. A thick thread of energy drifted out the partially opened window, filling my mouth and sliding down my throat.
It filled me, warming me and strengthening me in a way that feeding from Mrs. Quill never had. I swallowed and pulled more, too hungry and upset to think of all the reasons I shouldn’t. The joy of having a real meal consumed me as thoroughly as I devoured the energy. I never wanted to stop. I never wanted to feel hungry again. I would feed until I burst then—
The energy abruptly ended.
Snapped out of my feeding, I stared at my reflection in horror for a moment before running away from the window. I didn’t even know who I’d just fed on. A man? A woman? Someone barely into puberty?
I ran until I had a stitch in my side then slowed to a walk, blocks away from the home.
Angry at myself and everyone who’d pushed me, I kicked at a chunk of snow sitting on the side of the road. It exploded on contact and splattered my jean-clad leg with slush. I snorted in disgust and maintained my anger for another block before my shoulders slumped in defeat.
As much as I wanted to blame Adira, Mom, and Mrs. Quill for what happened, it wasn’t their fault. It was mine. If I didn’t want to accidentally make love-slaves out of my neighbors, I needed better control. It didn’t matter that I had slipped because I was emotionally distracted over things not going my way.
Sure, my mom would make my life hard now that she knew how behind I was, but so what? Ninety percent of girls my age had the same problem. Well, not with being a succubus but with a parent being on their case for something.
I could either become a whiney puddle of life’s-not-fair, or I could pull up my big girl pants and figure out how to give myself a life without so much adult interference. Especially from my mom.
Frowning, I thought of Megan and her assurance that she and Oanen were doing what they could to clear Mom’s name. I knew Megan was trying, but how long would it take? Whoever was doing these killings was smart because the creatures they were murdering weren’t simple to kill. A smart person wouldn’t be easy to find, not even for a fury. But, time wasn’t something I had. I knew what would start happening now that Mom knew my secret, and I couldn’t afford to wait weeks for Mom’s name to be cleared. I needed her out of Uttira fast.
I needed to talk to the goblin.
