Page 75 of The Howl
“Get out!”
I grabbed the shower wand and tried to spray him. He dodged nimbly, darting from one side of the shower to the other, but not toward the exit.
“I was here first!” he squealed.
A jet of water caught him just as he flew over me. His wet wings collapsed, and he fell with a splat on my chest. He slowly slid downward, his arms catching on the top of my breasts. Then glitter water exploded in a flash of rainbow mist.
“Eliana,” he said, his voice filled with awe. “I think we just made a baby.”
“Your sparkle dust needs to go somewhere else for that.”
I plucked him off me and held him out at arm’s length. His eyes roved my chest.
“Look.” He pointed at my belly, and I looked down.
A glowing spot the size of a quarter marked the skin just below my boobs. From there, a thin, luminescent line trailed down to my pubic hair.
“Eww!”
I tossed him, grabbed the soap, and started scrubbing.
Piepen’s whooping cheers only increased my growing panic. The glow wasn’t fading.
“I hate my life!”
I didn’t know I was going to scream the words until they were out of my mouth. Setting my forehead against the glass, I started to cry.
The door opened, and Piepen’s cheers stopped abruptly. I heard Mom say something to him, and then the door closed again. I didn’t care what she did with him. I wanted him and his nasty smell gone. For good.
Picking up the soap, I continued trying to scrub the glowing stain from my skin. It wasn’t budging. I cried harder and washed until my skin was raw and I was out of tears. My life had never been a picnic in the park. My early memories of taking care of my dad confirmed that. But even through those times, I’d somehow found acceptance. My life was my life, and I’d dealt with it as best I could, never railing against it. Why did everything feel so horrible now?
Turning off the water, I stood there in complete despair as I realized what had changed. My choices had been taken from me, and I’d never before felt so trapped as I did at that moment. Everything was dark. Everything. Everyone in my life was determined to unmake me. Me, Eliana, the girl who was nice. The girl who didn’t want to feed on other people. The girl who just wanted to be left alone.
I grabbed a towel and dried off, still tearing up randomly every time I caught sight of my stomach. If they wanted me to change, fine. I would change. But, the people in my life weren’t going to like what they got. I was done being nice.
Wrapping the towel around my torso, I left the bathroom. Mom was sitting on the edge of my bed. The room was otherwise empty.
I barely spared her a glance before going to the closet. My dresses were back. Seeing them almost brought new tears to my eyes. I pushed away the emotion because I couldn’t be the girl who wore those cute clothes anymore and started dressing. Jeans. Canvas shoes. A bra that actually covered me. A cami with a button-up top. I felt like I was channeling Megan and managed a smile even though my heart ached.
When I stepped out of the closet, Mom was still there.
“I’m truly sorry for this morning,” she said. “I was…” She sighed and shook her head. “I don’t know how to help you.”
“Try listening. I’m fine. I don’t need help. I like myself just the way I am. Why can’t everyone else like me, too?”
Mom’s expression fell, and her eyes began to tear.
“Don’t,” I said. “It’ll only make you hungrier.”
“Then I’ll eat.”
I shook my head and started for the door.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
“I don’t know.”
“Your jacket is with a human named Ashlyn. She said she’ll bring it over today. Why don’t we watch some movies and wait for her together?”
