Page 96 of The Howl
“Can I come in and talk to you?”
“Of course,” she said, sounding surprised.
She stepped aside, and I strode in, ignoring the four people in Oanen’s bed and the couple on his couch. Although the sight made me uncomfortable, the lust clogging the air didn’t bother me much.
I turned to face Mom.
“I was at the office door when they tried to bargain with you,” I said without preamble.
“Oh? And what do you think of me staying?”
“I love you. Having you here makes me feel protected in some ways. Threatened in others.” I gestured at the people behind me. “I don’t want this in my life.”
“What exactly don’t you want? The food?”
“No, Mom. I know I need to eat. I don’t want to coerce anyone or to have anyone suffer the mindless adulation that comes after I feed. I lived with the aftermath for twelve years. I will not do to anyone what was done to my dad. I love him too much to allow that to happen.
“My fear is that, if you lived here, I’d eventually make love slaves out of people and hate myself for it. I want you to be in my life, Mom, but it needs to be with a mutual understanding.”
“What understanding is that?”
“That I’m fine and healthy just the way I am.”
“I don’t think you are, though.”
“I know. Which is why I’m proposing you have me checked out. If a human doctor isn’t good enough, then have Raiden sniff me. Whatever it takes. If I get a clean bill of health, you help get Adira off my back; and you can live in Uttira as long as you want.”
Mom studied me, the pity in her gaze growing by the second.
“Baby, I knew the moment you walked into the dining room that something wasn’t right. I didn’t need Adira or Anwen’s stories to tell me what it was, either. You’re fading away. No human doctor will be able to verify that. Raiden would, but I wouldn’t put you through that humiliation.” She took my hand and gave it a squeeze. “I’m staying. On my own terms, not theirs. And I’ll help you figure this out. Now that I know why you’re not feeding like you should, we’ll work through it.”
“Work through it?”
“Yes. I know you don’t like what I did to your father. I’ve avoided him because you asked me to. If you could see how he is when he’s with me, you’d change your mind. He’s happy when he’s with me. Feeding me. It gives him purpose.”
I pulled my hands from hers, disbelieving what I was hearing. She thought he was better when he was under her thrall? Had she listened to nothing I’d said?
“Dad had a purpose before you came into his life.”
“Teaching others about his god isn’t a purpose, baby. It’s an occupation.”
“Ugh! Can you even hear yourself?” I shook my head. “You stole Dad’s life. I’m not letting you steal mine. I get to choose how to live it.”
“And as your mother, I get to choose to save it.”
“I want you to leave,” I said angrily.
“You want me to leave? Hop in that bed and show me you can feed. Better yet, lose the virginity you’re clinging to. Your innocence isn’t helping you. It’s corrupting your thinking. Do that, and I’ll leave.”
I stared at her for a minute then walked out of the room before I did or said something I might regret later. My anger blinded me. How could she be so unreasonable? So unrealistic?
“There you are,” Adira said, coming up the stairs. “I have some good news.”
“Not now, she-devil,” I snapped. “You can ruin my life some more tomorrow. I’ve hit my quota for the day.”
I was down the stairs and in the kitchen before what I’d said even registered. There would be repercussions for my disrespect, but I found I really didn’t care. There were repercussions even when I tried to follow the rules.
In my car, I texted Ashlyn.
