Page 135 of The Hunger
I woke with a stretch. Dinner with Mom and Dad had been nice, but the cake dreams I’d had once I’d gone to bed had been better. I’d gorged myself, and to show my appreciation, I’d licked every frosting and filling the trees had offered me. The forest had shaken with ferocity in return.
Reaching out, I smoothed my hand over the pillow beside mine, but the material wasn’t warm. I’d guessed it wouldn’t be. Knowing Fenris and his love of playing by his own rules, he’d probably fed me before midnight and hurried home to meet Raiden’s curfew.
Any lingering satisfaction from the dreams faded as I considered what today would mean for Fenris. I hated that Raiden was making him go through this farce of a mate run. I knew how Fenris felt about all those girls chasing after him.
My vision sharpened, and I grabbed my phone off the nightstand. Even though it was barely six, I sent a message.
Me: How exactly does one get ready for a mate run?
Jenna called a few seconds later.
“You can come over to my house,” she said, sounding chipper.
“When?”
“Now, if you can.”
“I’ll be there in thirty minutes.”
“Pack some extra clothes. The elders are being vague about when the run will start. I think they’re still trying to figure out how it’ll work.”
“What do you mean? This isn’t the first mate run they’ve hosted.”
“No, but it’s the biggest. By a lot.”
“Okay. Extra clothes it is. Anything else?”
“Nothing I can think of.”
“See you in thirty.”
I rushed to pack a few extra things, none of which were the red dress, and jogged down the stairs. Mrs. Quill took in my jeans and the sweater I’d raided from Oanen’s closet.
“Are you nervous?” she asked.
“Not really. I’m more annoyed than anything.”
A warmer jacket materialized on one of the stools. She picked it up and handed it to me with a reassuring smile.
“Raiden will come around.”
“I’m not sure I’ll have the patience to wait for that to happen.”
“Then don’t. Show him who you really are, Eliana.”
I gave her a shocked look, and her smile only widened.
“Strength doesn’t need to mean cruelty. You can be one without being the other.” She kissed my forehead. “Good luck.”
I hugged her hard and whispered, “I love you, too.”
She sniffled and smoothed her hand over my hair before shooing me out the door.
Her words stayed with me as I drove toward pack territory. Strength without cruelty didn’t seem to be a concept that the wolves understood. Except for Fenris. Never once had he been cruel. He pushed boundaries and encouraged with the patience of a saint, but that was it.
My grin at the thought that his patience was probably his only saint-like quality faded as I considered how the werewolves viewed strength. With them, it was about physical domination. I couldn’t physically dominate anyone. Nor would I want to. That dark thing inside of me stirred at my denial, and I shushed it. Accidentally attempting to sexually dominate Fenris didn’t count.
Without physical strength or the desire to fight for a place in their pecking order, how exactly could I prove myself worthy of Fenris in Raiden’s eyes? The answer was simple. I couldn’t. Besides, proving myself to anyone other than Fenris didn’t matter.
