Page 57 of The Hunger
“But I don’t think it’s always going to be like that. Seeing your disappointment. Hearing it. Feeling it. It helps me realize that maybe there won’t be as many ‘wrongs’ when I’m with you.”
His chewing slowed, and he started shaking. It reminded me a lot of what had happened at the hot springs when I’d thought he was cold. It was far from cold in my room.
“What does it mean when you shake like that?”
He swallowed hard and closed his eyes.
“It means that I’m hopelessly in love with you, Eliana, and I’m fighting to keep everything I feel for you inside so I don’t do something you’ll regret. I want you so bad it hurts to breathe. And hearing you realize that, when you’re with me, there are no boundaries, is music to my ears. I’m shaking because I’m fighting the urge to wrap you in my arms and never let go.”
I liked the picture he painted. The hugging me forever part, not the part where he’s suffering for it.
“You can hug me,” I said. “I like your hugs.”
He groaned. That was the only warning I had before I was lying on the bed with Fenris wrapped around me. His front pressed against my back, and his arms held me tight as he buried his nose in my hair and breathed in deeply. His shaking didn’t get any better. Heat and need radiated from him. Surprisingly, though, my hunger only stirred languidly. I needed to remember to eat more often. It obviously did control my moods more than I realized.
“Are you going to tell me how the conversation went with your dad?” I asked to distract him. “Did he believe you?”
I felt the shift in Fenris’s mood. His unrelenting need for me was swallowed by a surge of anger and frustration. Twisting in his hold, I looked back at his anguished expression.
“What is it?” When he didn’t say anything, I added, “Unconditional honesty goes both ways.”
He sighed.
“I want to be honest with you. I hate holding things back. But you’ve been through a lot today already. Let’s leave something for tomorrow.”
“As you’ve pointed out, withholding the truth didn’t help me. It only enabled me to hide longer. I think I need to start facing things head on, don’t you? No matter how uncomfortable it might be? Besides, one day isn’t going to make whatever happened any better or worse.”
He shook his head then leaned in to lick the tip of my nose.
“Smart and pretty.”
I smiled and nudged him.
“Spill. How did the talk go?”
“Not good. Dad doesn’t believe that you’re my mate. I know he'll come around eventually, but until then, I'll continue to be a puppet in his mating games.”
“What does that mean?”
“That big run he and the elders are planning this Saturday? Well, I’m still going to be the main attraction.” He shrugged. “It’s no big deal. Why don’t you tell me how it went with your parents?”
“If it’s not a big deal, why are you so upset by it?”
“Because I’m tired of being chased by all the wrong girls. I want the right girl lusting after my tail.”
A laugh escaped me. I couldn’t help it.
“She is lusting after your tail. Just more discreetly than all your other girls.”
His arms tightened fractionally against me.
“Thank you for saying that. It helps. Now, how did your mom take the news?”
“Mom's okay with it. She likes you and says you’re good for me. I'm not sure about Dad, though. I know he likes you, too, but I also know that he thinks I’m way too young and that sometimes what he says—”
“Isn’t what he means,” Fenris finished for me.
“Exactly.”
