Page 103 of The Hunger
Megan followed me out.
“You going to be okay?” she asked.
“I’m quietly freaking out on the inside,” I admitted. “Part of the reason I’ve avoided feeding was that I didn’t want to steal someone’s free will. How Piepen was in there…” I shook my head. “That was awful. What’s worse is that I don’t think this is the first time I’ve accidentally compelled someone to that level. I need to talk to my mom so I can figure out what’s going on before I wreck someone else’s life.” Just talking about my fears so openly made my eyes water.
Megan pulled me into a sudden, hard hug.
“I can tell you what this thing isn’t,” she said. “It isn’t wicked. Don’t beat yourself up. It’s like all those times I burned Oanen. You’ll figure out this new skill, and then it won’t be a problem. You’ll see.”
I nodded.
“Are you still hungry? Do you want to eat a little more before I leave?”
“No, I’m fine now.” I wasn’t, really. The hunger was still there, but I preferred to wait for Fenris.
“I love you, Eliana,” Megan said, standing back. “Also, you have a little glitter on your cheek.”
She disappeared in a flash of flames and laughter as I squealed and made a beeline for the bathroom.
There was nothing on my cheek.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
After another promise to go for food, I hurried from the bathroom. My head was swimming with so many questions for my mom that I almost bowled Mrs. Quill over when I opened my bedroom door. I cringed and rushed out an apology, which she waved away.
“Are you feeling more yourself?” she asked.
I cringed at the reminder of how bossy I’d been. That thought tripped on another, and my eyes went wide as I stared at Mrs. Quill.
“Megan said you asked if she was worthy.”
“Think nothing of it, Eliana. I’m more interested in knowing if I made the right choice to call her.”
I nodded slowly, two thoughts racing through my mind at once. The first being that I’d used this weird new compulsion on Mrs. Quill. The second being that this wasn’t the only time I’d done it. I’d used it to make her take me to the club. Her reaction then had been to get Megan, too.
A floodgate of memories opened in my mind, and I suddenly felt very sick.
“Are you all right, Eliana?” Mrs. Quill asked, the question mere background noise to my buzzing thoughts.
Piepen and Mrs. Quill weren’t the only people I’d caused to behave differently when I was angry. There were the mermaids in the pool. The druids when I demanded their phone numbers, and again when Meg admitted the purpose of the dust she’d blown in my face. Were there other instances I wasn’t remembering?
“Eliana?” Mrs. Quill asked. The sound of my name broke through my thoughts enough to realize she was waiting for an answer.
“I’m fine,” I stammered. “I need to get some food for the brownies.”
“Allow me. You look like you should sit down for a moment.”
I nodded woodenly at her promise to be quick and sank onto the bed while continuing to remember more. Telling Piepen not to touch himself in my presence. Scolding Elbner to be more agreeable and to stop throwing shoes.
“Will this be enough?” Mrs. Quill asked, holding out a bowl of fruit and vegetables.
“Yes. Thank you.”
My shock-numbed body managed to autopilot to the bathroom. I barely heard Merri’s thanks. Depositing the dish on the counter, I turned around and went to my closet where I picked out random clothes before shuffling to Oanen’s room.
How many times had I used this so-called skill without realizing it? Far too many, based on the memories that kept bubbling up. Holy meatless Monday, had I used it on Raiden last night when I told him to move? I cringed under the spray of the shower before an even bigger recollection hit me.
Adira, when I’d told her not to touch Fenris. I felt myself grow sicker after that one and made myself stop thinking about it. What was done, was done. But I needed to call my mom to figure out how to stop this from happening again.
