Page 15 of The Hunger
The memory of our conversation in the car on the way to the caves hit me just as hard. He’d known before my speech that I wouldn’t want to feed from him, but he’d been so lost to the pull that he’d hidden his obsession so I wouldn’t put a stop to it. That was why he wanted to meet tomorrow.
I lay there dwelling on my mistakes and all the pain I’d inadvertently caused Fenris. The tears, I’d thought had gone, reappeared and trekked well-used paths over my face.
There was no undoing the past, only finding a way to live in the present under the weight of regret.
Pain pulled me from my hard-won sleep. My middle cramped, and I moaned quietly. The sound, a mix of shame and need, echoed from the other side of the wall.
My need to eat evaporated as I sat up and checked the time. It was barely seven. My eyes rounded as I understood what was happening.
“No morning worship while I’m in the house!”
There was a muffled curse and a thump from my parents’ room as I scrambled out of bed.
“Two minutes,” I called, grabbing my things. “Just give me two minutes to leave.”
I didn’t care that my bladder was screaming. I raced from the room, making a mad dash for the door.
“Eliana,” Mom said, stopping me in my tracks. “You don’t have to run from this. It’s natural.”
Slowly turning, I faced my mom. I could see the fine lines around her eyes and mouth and the light remnants of last night’s lipstick.
“In a normal world, a child hearing their parents would disturb that child. Our world isn’t normal, and I’m far more than disturbed. I’m hungry, Mom.”
She gave me a small smile.
“I understand. Talk to Fenris, baby. It’s the only way to get the answers you need.”
I stared at her for a moment, confused about what she meant. Then I remembered.
“You mean how I started feeding on Fenris in the first place? I don’t think it matters. What matters is that I stop.”
“Are you going to go to Mrs. Quill, then?”
I shrugged. “I’m not sure yet.”
She studied me for a long moment.
“Be careful, baby.”
I nodded, understanding what she wasn’t saying. She didn’t want me to go back to starving myself.
“I will be.”
She didn’t stop me from running out of the house, only half-dressed and without shoes. The fresh blanket of snow pushed me to run faster.
Safely in my car with the engine running, I considered where I should go. If I returned to the Quills’, I was more likely to run into Adira or, worse, Fenris.
I dug my phone out of my pile of things, intent on sending Megan a message to see if she was awake yet. However, I saw I already had a message from her. And another one from Fenris. Even though Fenris’s was earlier than Megan’s, I read hers first.
Megan: Oanen’s making pancakes. Want to come over?
Me: Pancakes sound great. I’ll leave now. Can I borrow a pair of pants?
My phone began to ring. I answered it on speaker and set it in my lap before starting to back out of the driveway.
“I’d give you the shirt off my back,” Megan said in place of a greeting. “You know that. But I gotta ask. Have you suddenly become infatuated with my fashion sense, or has Adira burned all your clothes?”
“Neither. After you left, I was summoned by the great and mighty Oz. Mom went with me because, well, Adira. The Council was having a ‘what will Megan do’ panic meeting, and Adira was trying to strong-arm me into telling all your deep secrets.”
