Page 45 of Going to Hell
I pinched the inside of his bicep.
The hold he had on my neck loosened, and I twisted out of the chair. I flew at the bed, landing on it sideways and rolling at the same time I grabbed the sheet. I continued rolling until I fell off the other side. The impact bruised my hip, but I didn’t care.
Clasping my covering tightly to me, I awkwardly rose, wearing my blanket burrito.
C’adon stood on the other side of the bed. His chest heaved with each rage-filled breath as he braced his hands on the mattress and leaned toward me, still trying to capture my gaze. Rather than meet his eyes, I watched the way he fisted the remaining bedding until his knuckles turned white.
“As stubborn as she is beautiful,” he said angrily.
He released the sheets, his shackles and chains clanking, and straightened.
“You will not deny me forever. Or have you forgotten your mother?”
My mother? She’d died so long ago that I could barely remember her.
C’adon growled and abruptly pushed away from the bed.
“So be it. We will play your wretched game.”
He strode from the room, slamming the door in his wake.
With the noise still ringing in my ears, the space changed before my eyes and returned to its barren state. The linen wrapped around me disappeared. In its place, I once again wore the thin gown with the binding protectively around my chest. The key, which he’d coveted so many times, was again nestled between my breasts.
I couldn’t even pretend to understand what had just happened. Except for the way I’d woken. That I understood perfectly. And his angry kiss.
A shiver stole through me at the memory of his mouth against mine and the way he’d nipped my bottom lip. If there had been any lingering doubt about his intentions, that kiss had removed it.
He wanted me. Badly.
My middle tightened with excitement at the thought, and I ran a tired hand over my face. Logically, I knew I was walking a dangerous line with C’adon. He absolutely had me cornered, whether I’d managed to cover myself or not. The forced kiss proved he could do anything he wanted. Yet, he’d stormed out. Why?
I thought back to all the things he’d said. He’d wanted me to look at him willingly. He’d wanted it to be with affection at first, but then had said “be it loathing or revulsion.” While I did wonder why he mentioned those two emotions and not fear—it was a far more reasonable emotion given where I was—I also wondered why he’d laughed when I’d spat at him instead of grabbing my will. Was that why my willingness was such a big deal to him? Did he truly not want to resort to forcing me even though he’d hinted that he would?
Something inside of me was whispering that I could trust that he wouldn’t force anything despite what had just happened.
Don’t be stupid, Ashlyn. You know what he is.
But I didn’t. He wasn’t acting like any creature I knew, and my gut was telling me I was safe with him.
My fingers drifted to the front of my dress where he’d returned the key. It was something he’d wanted even since the beginning, yet he’d returned it to me even when he’d been angry. Every type of creature I knew would have kept the key and used it to bait me.
Well, not every creature. My friends wouldn’t have. I frowned, thinking of Eliana, a few of the werewolves, and Megan. They had never purposely used their abilities on me. They kept me safe and were nice.
Despite knowing the way my small group of friends treated me wasn’t the norm, I felt a spark of hope light inside of me. Maybe C’adon might be like them. That thought softened me just a little more toward him. Oh, not enough to forget that he’d tried getting me to look at him. Or that forced kiss that I hadn’t exactly hated.
Was he really crazy and unpredictable or just desperate for someone? I understood loneliness too well. Hadn’t I agreed to go to the academy, one of the most dangerous places in Uttira for a human like me, just for a reprieve from feeling so alone?
And that was the real heart of the issue. His desperation called to me more powerfully than my dependence on him for food and protection. How many times had he offered to let me hurt him, just for a scrap of my attention?
The idea that C’adon needed me just as much as I needed him sent a pulse of yearning through me.
Sighing, I glanced at the door and wondered which mood I’d encounter when I walked out of the room. Hopefully, not the one that threatened to bring the building down on us. Or the one that caused him to scream in my face. That wasn’t fun.
Gods,I thought.What a mess.
Crossing to the space, I lowered my gaze in preparation and lifted the latch. The door swung open, exposing C’adon’s head on the floor in front of the door.
My mouth opened in a silent scream, and it took a moment to register his head was still attached to his body pressed against the hallway wall. Obviously, he’d lain down on the floor for the single purpose of tricking me into looking at him again. And I had. My wide-eyed gaze remained locked with his as my heart thundered in my chest.
