Page 46 of Raising Hell
“I watched movies about clubs, but being in there in person was nothing like what I’d watched. The music and the dancing called to me. Being with people and doing something normal…I wanted that so much that I let myself believe that’s what it was for a second. A normal club with normal people.
“The incubus stole my will while I was staring at the crowd in awe. I remember my fear when I started moving toward him against my will. His lips on mine.”
I shuddered, and Hades’ arm tightened around me.
Too late, I realized what I’d revealed, and I hurried to change the subject.
“Thankfully, my uncle was nervous about sending me in and was only a minute behind me. So it was a brief first kiss but a very long first shift. No matter how they harassed me to get my attention, being there was worth it. I loved sitting, listening to the music when it was safe, and pretending not to watch the dancers.
“Dancing always looked fun. When my uncle wasn’t home, I turned on music and danced in my room. But dancing alone isn’t the same.”
I rambled through more stories of my life in Uttira. The earlier ones sounded pathetic even to my ears because so little ever happened to me when I was in my house, and the stuff that happened to me outside of it honestly wasn’t that good. However, there were a few gems. Like when I discovered the knitting shop, the Threadbare Trader, that had a secret supply of chocolate. Or the time my uncle had been invited out to pack land, and I got to watch a mate run. I’d witnessed a lot of nudity then too.
“I think my face was just as red that day,” I mumbled tiredly. “It wasn’t just the lack of clothes. They have no problem with public sex. Loud public sex. I wasn’t prepared for that or the long, uncomfortable ride home with my uncle.”
A smile curved my lips at the memory, and Hades’ fingers stilled in my hair. I didn’t open my eyes to see how freaked out he was. I just patted his chest.
“No blood raining here. Just a few good memories in with the bad.”
His fingers started moving again, and I sluggishly tried to think of another story to tell.
* * *
The soundof the shower tickled my consciousness. I didn’t want to get up. I wanted to stay in bed where I was warm and comfy.
At least, I did until I felt fingers trailing over my bare side.
Frowning, I opened my eyes and looked at Hades. His attention was riveted on his hand, which was freely exploring my bare skin from hip to ribs.
“Where’s my dress?”
My nipple pebbled when he reached my side boob. His hungry gaze flickered with a red light when he noticed, but he didn’t grab me. He changed direction and trailed his fingers back down my side.
“I removed it so you can shower.”
“Didn’t you hear anything I said yesterday? Being naked makes me uncomfortable. Nudity, in general, makes me uncomfortable. Knowing that you undressed me in my sleep and thought it was okay to touch me makes me very afraid for my safety. What happened to me being willing?”
His touch stilled and then left me.
“Forgive me.”
“You say that a lot. I’m starting to doubt you actually mean it. You always go right back to thinking of yourself and doing what you want.” I sat up, angry and embarrassed, and turned my back to him as I got out of bed.
“Stare away. Look your fill. As you’ve already proved, you’ll do what you please anyway.”
There was nothing but silence behind me as I marched to the running shower. It made me nervous, but I didn’t look back.
The hot water felt good, and I stood there for several long minutes before washing. Silly me for hoping that sharing some of my past would help Hades see that I was telling the truth. The man was too stubborn for that.
Or desperate, a little part of me whispered.
I sighed and tipped my face back in an attempt to wash away the guilt. Persephone had slowly and methodically taken every ray of joy from Hades’ life, and I accused him of being selfish? He’d given up everything in an attempt to make her happy. And what did he do when she didn’t hold up her end? He complained about it. He didn’t force her.
Was it so strange that when I gave him back his right to touch her, thereby freeing him to touch me, he would exercise that right?
Sighing, I moved out of the water and picked up a drying cloth. A clean dress already waited on the privacy screen. More guilt nibbled at me.
“Would you consider the way you were touching me to be sexual?” I asked from behind the screen.
