Page 182 of His White Moonlight
“It’s their signature scent,” I said, focusing on my laptop.
“You seem pretty indifferent to it.The girl was quietly promising her parents she’d deal with you.”
“I’d like to see her try.Bennett rarely let me out of his sightbeforethis weekend.Pretty sure he’s going to be worse now.”As I spoke, I realized the truth of my words.He wouldn’t let me out of his sight at all now.I could feel a familiar tightness build in my chest.“I think I’ll go to the bathroom on my own while I’m still allowed.”
I fled before either could say anything.
In the bathroom, I splashed water on my face and focused on my breathing.Then, I used the toilet.Of course, the door opened when I was mid-stream.
“If you have a pail of mop water, don’t do it.Bennett’s already mad.”
“How many times have you been doused while peeing that that’s what you say when you hear the door open?”Miranda asked.
“A few.”I finished and left the stall.She was leaning against the counter and watched me wash my hands.
“You weren’t wrong about him not giving you space now.He saw you leave and was about to follow.I volunteered as tribute after suggesting space was what you needed the most from him.Hope you don’t mind the switch.”
I shook my head.
“Why did you start to panic?”she asked.
“I think it was the idea that I’m going to be even more caged now.”Sighing, I smoothed my hands over my hair and met Miranda’s gaze.“I’ve stayed awake for three days before.Straight.No naps.I remember how exhausted I felt.Exhausted and not really with it, you know?
“I’m getting to that level of tired again…and I’m sleeping at night.I keep telling myself to hang in there, that things will get better once I leave for school, but I think that’s a lie.Nothing is going to go my way as long as I—” I shook my head.“Someone told me that sometimes life is harder than it needs to be.I lost my family to a fire when I was six.I was fostered by a family that accepted me on the surface but left me feeling rejected for the next twelve years.Life isn’tsometimesharder for me.Struggling is the only way I know how to live, and I’m so fucking tired of it, Miranda.”
She hugged me so hard I could feel her cup size.
“Um…”
“No, keep feeling sad.Rub against me a little too.This is going to get us a longer lunch break and a few margaritas.”
I snorted but set my head on her shoulder and let my self-pity free for a few seconds.Then I pulled myself together and walked out of the bathroom with Miranda.
She marched right into Bennett’s office, and from the corner of my eye, I watched her waft the air from her body toward Bennett.
Miranda wasn’t the friend I’d expected.I’d been looking forward to a normal friendship with Sophia, but I didn’t hate the support Miranda was giving me.It felt more real than anything I’d ever had in my life.Even more real than Aiden and Karter.
When she emerged, she gave me a subdued thumbs-up and grabbed her purse.
“Let’s go.”
* * *
The fish bowlmargarita wasn’t equally shared, but I still had enough that I was feeling pretty mellow when we returned to the office past the normal lunch hour.If anyone gave us looks and said anything under their breath, I didn’t notice.
“Nope, not the desk,” Miranda said, steering me toward Bennett’s office.“You won a free nap with your lunch.”
A nap didn’t sound like a bad idea.
I quietly let myself into Bennett’s office so that I didn’t disturb the call he was on, then kicked off my shoes and settled onto the couch.
Sleep claimed me quickly…the brush of fingers against my cheek brought me out of it a while later.
Opening my eyes, I looked at Bennett, who was crouched beside me.
“You’re beautiful when you sleep.When you’re awake, too.When you run.When you laugh.When you scowl… I can’t think of a single instance when I’ve looked at you and didn’t think you were beautiful.”
“Are you trying to give me a new goal?”
