Page 29 of Saving Tracey
I quickly snatched them out of my locker and dropped them into my bag.No one had to know, I reminded myself. It was my little secret. Maybe I could escape this pain-filled world, leave everything behind. No one knew I had access to something that could help me. No one would know until they found me dead.
I could finally do it.
When I got to class, Kaleb was already there talking with a couple of guys from the football team. I sat in my seat that was next to him and put my head on my desk, letting exhaustion sweep over me. I hadn’t gotten nearly enough rest last night, and I was definitely feeling it this morning.
However, Kaleb wasn't going to let me sleep. Since I was now living with him, I had to follow his mother's rules, and one of those was that I had to keep my grades up.
Like that was ever going to happen though. It was way too late for me to try to straighten things out in my life.
Especially if I still wasn't planning on living.
Kaleb shook my shoulder suddenly, and I jerked up and away from him, panic gripping my lungs and squeezing hard. He quickly jerked his hands back. "Fuck, sorry. I forgot for a moment."
I blew out a harsh breath and clenched my teeth. The teacher came in wearing those loud heels again.Seriously, why in the hell did she have to wear them?
Class went by slowly as she discussed everyone’s partner projects, going over grades with everyone. Since I had been out of school while it was being completed, the teacher had paired Kaleb up with another pair, and the three of them had apparently done the small project together.
I honestly felt like the class was never going to end. I just watched Kaleb take notes once she began to lecture and picked at the sleeves of my shirt.
The intercom went off in the room, and everyone stopped what they were doing to listen. "Can I have Tracey Olive in the principal's office, please?"
"Yes, you sure can."
The intercom shut off, and I looked at Kaleb, panic clear in my eyes.I hadn't done anything wrong!My parents weresupposed to be locked away in jail. I didn't even think they had a chance of bail. Why was I being called to the principal's office?
They couldn’t hurt me anymore, right?
"You'll be fine," Kaleb whispered.
I got out of my seat and snatched my bag up, rigidly walking out of the door. When I got to the office, Mrs. Freeman from the hospital was sitting in the principal's office with the principal. "What's going on?" I was nervous, and I was sure she could tell.
"I wanted to talk to you about everything that's been going on. I thought it would be better to do it here than at your home. I figured since home is where you have the most peace, I didn’t want to disturb that for you."
"Okay," I cautiously took a seat beside her, very well aware of the scissors that sat in my bag.She wouldn't want to search my things, would she?
"I've recently been told of your suicide attempt, Tracey.” I twisted my fingers in my lap, keeping my gaze trained on the floor. “I thought things were going okay."
I wrapped my arms around myself, making out patterns on the carpet with my eyes. I wasn't going to answer her. Nothing was ever going to be okay. I could put up a front like no other; I had years of experience doing it. I could act like it all was okay, but it wasn't.
And she was stupid for thinking that it ever could be.
"Tracey, I will put you in a behavioral health center if you try to commit suicide again, do I make myself clear?” I tensed up at her words. “We want you to pull through this. I know that you can. You just can't give up. If you have to be put on suicide watch, then that will happen."
"Just leave me alone."
I stormed out of the office just as the bell rang. Teenagers filled the hallways, quickly crowding it.
And I made my escape.
I walked out of the school doors and went around to the back of the school. Bumping into someone, I stumbled back from the hard chest, my eyes snapping up from the ground to meet a rock-hard chest covered in a black t-shirt.
"Jesus, Tracey, what are you doing out here?"
My eyes snapped up to his. He held a cigarette on the side of his lips with a lighter held up to it, but he hadn’t lit it yet. He pulled the cigarette from between his lips, and his eyes searched mine. "You okay?"
"Like you fucking care." I moved to step around him.
He gripped my wrist in his hand, yanking me back around in front of him. I yanked my wrist out of his hand, clenching my jaw. My heart raced at his touch, but not out of fear.
