Page 28 of Montana Groom of Convenience
“Grass looks good,” Sawyer said.
Jill headed for the barn, and they followed her. They reached the building in time to see her disappear up the ladder into the loft.
Sawyer looked after her. “I never know if I should try and control her or let her find her own way.”
She didn’t know if he was asking for her opinion,but she offered it anyway. “I remember hearing Mother tell young mothers that they should give their children enough freedom to learn things but not enough they could get hurt.”
He nodded. “Sounds good to me.”
They wandered up the alley, looking at the dozen pens, stopping at the tack room to examine the harnesses. He checked the collar Big Harry would wear to pull the farm implements.
“It’s in good shape. It appears your Father is a careful man.”
She chuckled. “He is that. Especially careful not to throw anything away.” She indicated the tangle of leather scraps in the corner.
Sawyer glanced at them, and this time, she knew he smiled, though it disappeared before he looked in her direction. Still, she felt more than a little pleased with herself.
It was time to return to the house and prepare supper. Time to let him learn what sort of cook she was.
Sawyer felt ratherpleased with himself. He’d made her laugh. And no amount of telling himself he didn’t care changed the fact that it made him feel good.
The thought scared him and he turned to study the harnesses hung neatly from pegs, oiled and polished. He perceived he’d landed in a family that showed care and concern in everyday things. And likely in big, occasional things, too. The way Carly quoted her motherfilled him with reassurance. As if hearing his own mother in her words.
He spoke almost as if in a dream. “I can’t remember my mother very well, but I do recall something she said often. ‘Look for sunshine and you’ll find rays even on a cloudy day. Look for darkness and you’ll find it even on the sunniest of days.’” He couldn’t think why he’d told her that or even why he’d remembered it. Except there was something about Carly’s sunny nature that brought it to remembrance.
She smiled brightly, sending a shaft of light into his dormant heart and stirring it to life.
He wasn’t sure he wanted that to happen, and yet he wasn’t ready to refuse it either.
She tipped her head. “Didn’t you say you were seven when your mother and brother perished?”
“I was.”
Her eyes narrowed. “But you said you regretted standing by and not doing anything. What could a seven-year-old do?”
His heart died a thousand deaths. He’d told her too much. Should have guessed she’d see the flaw in his confession. “Pa tried to get in to save them. It took three men to hold him back. I just stood there shaking with fear as the flames licked at the walls and consumed the roof. I was too afraid to even try. It wasn’t right for me to be more concerned with my own safety than rescuing them.”
Her smile left her mouth but not her eyes, and the look she gave him felt like a caress. “Sawyer, do you think your mother would have wanted you to perish, too?”
The question stunned him. He’d never considered it.
“If she could see you, I’m sure she’d be so happy to see you all grown up. Jill’s parents would also be happy she’s alive and will grow up and have children of her own.”
“Pa was never the same after. Not until he met Judith.” He’d shut Sawyer out as if he couldn’t bear to see a surviving son while his other had died.
“We’ve all lost so much. Why don’t we do our best to help each other find joy in what our lives are now?”
“I don’t have much to offer. But if you’ll help Jill...” She already had by offering encouraging words and touches. His shoulder warmed where her hand had rested briefly so he knew it felt good. Just what Jill needed.
Carly patted his arm, sending a bolus of warmth to his heart. He couldn’t decide if there was something about her touch that did that or if he had something wrong with him.
“You might discover you have more to offer than you think.”
The idea flared for the space of two seconds and then flickered out.
Her eyes sparkled as if she’d read his mind. “You might have a lot of surprises ahead of you.”
Again, the idea flared with hope. He didn’t completely succeed in dousing it. “Not too many, I hope, and none bad.”
