Page 41 of Montana Groom of Convenience
Sawyer waited a moment, trying to gauge her feelings. When she showed neither welcome nor dismissal, he sat beside her. He had to make her understand something. “I don’t want to take your land from you.”
She turned to study him. “I’m sorry for being so prickly. It’s just....”
Curious, he willed her to finish. “Just what? Tell me.”
She nodded. “It no longer matters, but I once had a beau.”
“That doesn’t surprise me. I would think you had them lined up waiting their turn.”
She tipped her head back and laughed. Her eyes sparkled when she sobered enough to speak. “Sawyer Gallagher, who’d have guessed you were capable of sweet talk?”
“Just being honest.” Yet it pleased him to know she’d liked his comment. A smile tugged his mouth upward.
Her eyes widened. “Why, look at you. A real smile. You ought to try one more often. It’s quite—” Her cheeks turned rosy, and she turned away, suddenly interested in the scene before them.
He didn’t press her to finish, content to provide his own words. Quite handsome. Quite attractive. His smile widened. He wished for an excuse to take her hand and squeeze it but could find none. He waited for her to tell him about her beau, but she turned back to the landscape.
“I never get tired of this view.” Her voice had grown soft. “When I come here, I am reminded of my mother. She often came here with me. She loved nature and said it made her so aware of God. She sang a song. I always sing it when I’m here...sort of for her.” She looked away and began to sing in a strong voice. “‘I sing the mighty power of God, that made the mountains rise, That spread the flowing seas abroad....’”
He sat mesmerized. It was as if they’d entered a holy place. Jill must have felt the same awe, for she sat a few feet away, her attention riveted on Carly’s face.
“‘And everywhere that we can be, Thou, God art present there,’” she finished and sat quietly.
No one moved. Jill wore an expression that couldbe best described as peaceful. He had not seen that look since the last time he saw her with her parents. She sniffled and turned away. The moment was over, but his heart lifted with the hope that settling in this place would be good for her.
Something rose within Sawyer, a feeling of having found something he lost so long ago he couldn’t remember when or where he’d last known it. A feeling that all was right with his world. Of course! The words of the song. They made a person feel that way.
Carly sighed. “I miss her. Guess I always will.”
Jill again let her feelings show. Her mouth twisted with her own loss. Both parents. He longed to wrap his arms around her and assure her he would make sure she had a good home.
And love?
Perhaps she would get it from Carly and her father. Sawyer had closed his heart to that emotion.
Carly turned to him. “I know you must miss your mother, too. And your brother.” She tipped her head from side to side as she studied him.
He forced himself not to look away, even though he sensed she saw something about him that puzzled her. He resisted a derisive snort. No doubt there was much that had that effect.
“I keep thinking of how you blame yourself for not doing anything to help your mother and brother.”
His insides soured the pleasant feeling torn aside by her reminder.
She squeezed his hand. “Have you thought any more about what I said? That your mother would have been happy that you weren’t trapped as well?”
Her touch seared a path straight to his heart. It wasall he could do not to turn his palm to hers and hang on like a drowning man. Her words touched him, too.
“My ma loved me. She loved both her boys. I never doubted it. But why should I live while she and Johnny died? He was only five.” Sixteen years since that dreadful fire, and he’d never spoken of it to anyone. He’d tried to talk to his pa soon after the fire, but Pa got so agitated that he stopped mentioning it. Once or twice, he’d approached the topic with people they’d stayed with. Had been told to forget the past. And he’d determined to do so.
Until now. He wished he’d never mentioned it to Carly. Seems she wasn’t going to let it go until she thought he’d overcome his feelings.
He slowed his breathing, fearing his feelings would erupt like a boiling pot. Out of control. Hurting everything in the way.
But instead, he discovered the sharp, ragged edges of that memory had grown smooth. Perhaps time had done that, and he had been unaware. Or maybe Carly’s understanding and her words and touch had provided healing.
Somehow, his hand had turned, and he gripped her fingers. He forced his muscles to relax. As afraid of the feelings that blossomed inside him as he was of hurting her with his strength.
She withdrew her hand. A tender smile curved her mouth. “Shall we go see where the cows are?”
