Page 21 of Judge
“I promise, with everything in me that I’ll protect them.”
She nods once and the relief in her eyes guts me. She may have my word that I’ll protect their hearts, but I’m hell bent on protecting hers too.
Kaia
Damn Judge and his ability to read me so well. I thought after fourteen years apart that I’d have learned to cover my tracks better, learned to lie better, or at the very least hide my emotions. But when it comes to the way I feel about my kids and what they’ve been through, its fucking hard to bury all those emotions and memories.
I knew from the look on his face at dinner that he knew something was up. We may have not seen each other in years, but all the signs were there. The set of his jaw, the way his eyes narrowed. He wanted to grill me until I told him what was wrong. It was always his way. No matter how many kids pickedon me or called me names, no matter how hard I thought I had hid my hurt, he always knew. And then he’d interrogate me until I spilled my guts and he would fix it. Either with his fist or his scary glare. I mean, the guy was near six foot when we were eleven years old, he was also wide as hell, so all it would take is a look and the kids would back off. Leo was my protector, Judge is my co-parent. Someone who thinks I’m the world’s best mother when it’s the furthest thing from the truth. Thankfully we were saved by Rider and perhaps the worst live band I’d ever seen in my life.
I chuckle as I sit back on the couch, my morning coffee in my hands as I run last night through my mind. It was a pleasant night and I could almost feel the old pieces of mine and Judge’s friendship slip into place. Not fully, never fully. Too much has gone on in the past to be able to go back to the way we were. All the hatred and anger I once held toward him is now only a glimmer of what it once was. Now I wait with bated breath for his. I’m sure he has questions, things he wants to know, anger at the situation or at me for not trying hard enough to tell him what we’ve been through. When his anger finally comes out it’ll be in full force and rightly so. My stubbornness and inability to ask for help has hurt me once, and I know it’ll hurt me again.
Sick of myself and going round in circles in my head, I haul ass from the couch, place my cup in the sink and leave, heading toward the farmhouse. It’s so funny how small my world was three, no, four days ago. Just me and the twins. Six years ago it was just me, the twins and my dad. I shake off the sorrow and decide to get a little exercise, jogging up the stairs of the house, beelining for the nursery.
“There she is!” Remy smiles gently as I walk through the door.
“I got sick of being stuck in my head at home, decided this is better. There will be enough crazy conversation to keep me distracted.”
“Worried about today?” Nat asks.
“Today, tomorrow, next week. It’s my natural setting.” I reply, snuggling down into a bean bag that is far too small for my ass.
“There really is no point worrying like that. You could die today. Or tomorrow.”
“Thank you, Chewy.” Ana rolls her eyes, her chubby son lying sideways on her lap poking Rosie, Nat’s daughter.
“What? It’s true. Do you ever see me worry about anything? Nope. Because I can only control what I can control,” Chewy replies, petting her gator.
“Like Laney’s brain development, and Rhodie’s ass?” Blanche snorts.
“Exactly that. That’s all I need to control to be happy.”
She may have a point there. I have never once seen the woman flustered or upset. I, on the other hand, feel completely out of sorts. Everything still feels up in the air with the MC and Judge and everything they’ve got going on. Although we’re all hoping today will put an end to it. As fun as it’s been, I really want to get back to my own home, and the diner.
“Sounds like the men are getting ready to head out,” Chewy says, head tilted, before she stands abruptly, scooping up Laney like a football, Chomper mirroring the position in her other arm.
“How does she know?” I whisper to Blanche as we follow her down the stairs.
“She has the hearing of a bat. And the nose of a bloodhound. I’m not sure if it’s because she’s neurodivergent or if it’s a family thing.” Blanche shrugs. “Pops is the same, but Tav can’t hear a thing.”
“Tav’s hearing is as good as mine. If you think he can’t hear you, he’s lying.” Chewy yells over her shoulder to us.
“That rat bastard,” Blanche whispers. “Can’t hear the baby my ass.” She frowns, hoists her baby higher in her arms and speeds up. She’s a woman on a mission as she storms toward her man, who is now looking pretty damn concerned.
I snort, then come to a stop on the deck. The whole of the DRMC are preparing to ride out. The Tombs’ are loading up their SUVs and a big van named Truck Norris. The women with men are all hanging off them, hugging each other goodbye like Mira and Tank, or kissing passionately like Rhodie and Tuesday, their gator and daughter squished between them. Lovely is standing between Marx’s outstretched legs as he leans on his bike and then I spot Judge. He’s straddling his navy blue Harley, looking like damned sex on legs. He catches my gaze, giving me the crooked smile I’ve loved since I was five.
Weaving through the MC members who are milling around, I stop when the toes of my sneakers touch his big boot.
“Judge-”
“Leo.”
“Huh?”
His eyes crinkle at my confusion. “It’s Leo, Kai. I’m always Leo to you, OK?”
I huff, rolling my eyes. “Leo, be careful, yeah?”
He stares at me, his gaze boring into mine. “You talk like you’ll miss me.”
